Awkward Situations, Life

My relationship with my pants


This is a prompt from somewhere and for whatever reason it just reminds me of my experience when I went to see Backstreet Boys and New Kids on their joint tour.

My outfit that day was a disaster for many reasons. The main one being that I was experiencing a bout of chronic eczema at the time. The kind that covered my entire neck and hurt like hell and the kind that was to be covered by a scarf at all times. Luckily for me it was April in the UK. It rained like crazy that day. 

Anyway, my first item was a black scarf. It was plain and simple.

I chose not to wear pants but a blue dress. In hindsight, I would have just worn nice jeans but I had no idea that my seats were too far away for Nick Carter to notice me and pick me as the girl he serenaded on stage (dammit)  

It was a short black and blue dress so I had to wear tights with it. Did I go for the sensible choice of black? No. I chose purple.

Purple is my one true love

My purple tights were precious to me, along with my blue tights. I was an edgy tights wearer. Anyway, the purple ones had a small hole in the thigh area but nothing noticeable. Or so I thought. I finished the outfit off with black flats and I set off.

Once outside, felt a strong draft almost immediately. I knew within five minutes that they would succumb to gravity eventually. However, I had no other tights at home that I could find within five minutes. So I went shopping. Now for some unfathomable rreason I ended up buying red tights.
Please picture that.

Black and blue dress (and lets just pretend that was a homage to Black&Blue). Red tights. Black scarf.

It sounds ridiculous. It looked ridiculous.

And that is why I only wear the odd dress now and then when I know that I have hole free tights. Or when I can just wear leggings instead.

I love leggings. Anyone out there with a generous butt and wide hips should love leggings. Some of them do look ridiculous but I’ll take it over having jiggle around like crazy while frantically begging my jeans to slide on nicely.

I am hoping to overcome my fear this year and start rocking the purple pencil skirt that I bought, though. I am not really a dress girl but I have some nice ones that deserve to be worn.
However nothing will ever come between my love affair with pants. I’ll be honest-  being chubby rendered skinny jeans my enemy a long time ago. As someone who was wearing skinny jeans before they were ‘in’, I wish they would make more bootleg jeans. Haven’t we all suffered enough?

All in all that sums up my relationship with pants. I rarely wear skirts or dresses because I’m worried that I will have a tights emergency. Also like I said, my butt is huge so they tend to ride up. I’ve had many embarrassing instances where my dress had ridden up and nobody told me. No. One. People are cruel, man.

That being said I am currently in the market for a new pair of skinny jeans given that my old pairs have either succumbed to Broken Fly Land or Ripped Crotch City.

I think it’s safe to say that my relationship with pants is pants. 

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