So, I decided to go make up free this week. By make up I mean eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, brow pencil and lipstick (although I wore lip gloss instead).
Monday, I looked disastrous. My hair is long overdue a spruce up so I’ve just been tying a scarf on it but it looks awful. Plus I was running late so I looked like a hot mess.
Tuesday, more of the same.
By Wednesday, I was avoiding looking at myself in the mirror.
I ditched concealer and foundation because it was getting too much and they’re not good for my skin, but sometimes I just always feel so self conscious without anything on my face. I call these instances my ugly days. Usually on those days, the make up goes on, but I wanted to air out my face this week. Plus, my eyes watered for about fifteen minutes straight in public so in a way, I’m glad that I held my resolve.
Going back to ugly days, I often wonder if it’s some kind of psychological thing. I feel like my face is too round, my nose is too big, my lips are too lopsided (seriously!) but on other days, I feel like I look okay. I’m not Instagram pretty, or runway material but I’m not hideous either. I would describe myself as having a unique look because my face is always changing due to ~life~, but sometimes I just hate looking at myself.
I need an injection of self-esteem and self-confidence, stat. And new lipstick, just because I feel like it takes me from ugly day to slightly less hideous in thirty seconds. It makes it look like I’ve made an effort at least, lol.
In the meantime, I’ve ordered new concealer and primer. If it makes me feel better, I might as well use it! But I’m not going to go overboard and start smearing it on or anything. Too much time, too much effort and I always feel like people are judging me.
I’m also trying this charcoal face scrub at the moment and combining it with the other things I use like coconut oil, rose water and cold cream. I’m hoping the face scrub will help with the appearance side of things because my face feels smooth but it doesn’t look it.
Anyway, getting my hair done should improve things slightly, but ugly days tend to pounce on me whenever they feel like it. Siiiigh. Life, eh?