Life, Random Thoughts

a lonely life where no one understands you | Random Thoughts #19

Hello, people. It’s ‘Get A Freaking Diary, S!’ time. I’m sure that someone out there is enjoying my rambling. 

This weekend my friend and I came up with our own motivational/random quote. I’ll post it on Wednesday, but it’s awesome and nonsensical at the same time. Which kind of sums me up. Haha. 

Anyway, I’ll start by talking about Instagram again because I have no life.

  • Bob is in Texas this week. 
  • The picture he posted was slightly ridiculous. I mean, it was cool and all but I don’t get those people that take pictures of themselves in water. Aren’t they worried about dropping their phones? Bravery, y’all.
  • My Instagram is dead. The people posting pictures either don’t talk to me anymore, or I’m not really a fan of them anymore. I could search for stuff, I guess. Meh. 
  • Bob is basically the most active person on my Instagram. I mean, I’m still not sure what his contribution to society is besides broadcasting his face as much as possible, but then again, my contribution isn’t much either so, I cannot judge. 
  • I’ll wait until when I’m at peak boredom levels and not in a slight state of anxiety. 
  • I still don’t like his picture.
  • Every time I go to post, I get put off because it just feels so pointless. I posted a few pictures this week but I shall disappear for the time being

The Korn lyric/post title:

  • It’s true. 
  • I was thinking about my friend of ten years who I am no longer friends with. My feelings on that range from, that fucking bitch to…that fucking bitch. So they’re balanced feelings then. 
  • People understand perhaps, but I don’t think they give a hoot. 
  • I don’t blame them. Everyone wants to be understood, but there’s 7 billion of us and that’s too many people to give a shit about
  • I am weird anyway, so, not understanding me is okay. 
  • I don’t even understand myself. 

Random Thought of the Day

Was that dish covered? Oh my goodness, I hope it was! I don’t uunderstand. 

Considering that I’m not eating whatever the hell it was, I’m not sure why I’m so concerned but HELLO, BUGS AND STUFF. 

Writing update:

  • It’s going. 
  • Slowly
  • I cannot really do much with my hand. 
  • Yesterday I was on meds and trying to write, frustrated and this happened:

Hate it. Hate it. 

For one, my brain is foggy. 

I can’t control my hands very well so I keep making mistakes. So so many mistakes. I cannot keep a single thought together.

The ideas are coming but not in order. 

Still, I write, because I’m a masochist. I have to put myself through a different kind of pain while ridding​ myself of another. 

Time for a sleep methinks…Just spent five minutes staring at a wall. Also my shirt was inside out. 

Head is extra foggy. 

Anyway, more later. 

Uh, okay self… I love that I wasted time writing that instead of just sleeping. 

Real talk: please don’t compare me to other people

  • I don’t need you to project on me
  • I don’t need you to live vicariously through me
  • I don’t need you to guide me through life
  • I don’t need you to tell me that I’ve achieved nothing in life
  • I don’t need to hear you boast about how successful you’ve been when everyone can see that it not true
  • I don’t need your advice when everything I want in life is everything you turned out not to be
  • I don’t need you to rant and rave when I show no interest
  • I don’t need your negativity and poisonous mindset
  • I don’t need your abuse at all
  • I need you to get a clue and leave me alone

    Writing update 2

    • Finished a story!
    • I need to work on posting some more short stories on here. 
    • I need to work on my short story that’s sort of about me but isn’t. 
    • Finished another story. I’m on a roll. 
    • I will post the second story here because it’s original and based on a WordPress prompt. The other one is fanfic (yes, I dabble in such things). 

      Anyway, have a good week, people!

      Life

      Turn Up

      Today’s Daily Prompt is volume and I’m going to tackle it in the literal sense. 
      Sometimes I like to turn my music up high and really blast it. Now, as someone who gets headaches easily it isn’t wise. However, as someone who likes to block out all necessary noise it’s a must. 

      I have something that we call misophonia, so background noise is real irritating to me. All of that every day chatter can be fine one day and painful the next. Loud conversations physical disturb me. Loud chewing. All of that. So I use volume as a shield. And also because I’d be lost without music. I am more of a headphones than a blast music via speakers girl. 

      I live for those moments when I get excited by a song I’ve heard a million times before but still feel compelled to turn it up. It’s the small things in life, people. My personal earphone concerts have worked wonders for me over the years. 

      Case in point: the most effective way for me to clean is to play my 80-song Backstreet Boys playlist. I turn it up and boom, two hours later, everything is much cleaner than it was before. 

      I’m also one of those people that focuses by blasting music. I’ve had countless people tell me that they need silence but silence is bad for me. It gives me too much time to get lost in my own head and daydream. 

      The music acts as a barrier and blocks out any outside noise. 

      That’s the most important part.