we’ve seen how beautiful you are | Random Thoughts #32

– I’m trying to convince myself that I don’t care what Bob is up to. He was ‘vibing’ in New York, but I didn’t click on the video because I wasn’t ready to see any rhythm-less dancing. I feel old just hearing that term (vibing) and I’m pretty sure Bob is older than me! 

He’s waaaaay cooler than me, though, so that must be it. I’m sure I’ll update you on Sir Bob by the end of the post. 

– I had a dream, people. 

It involved The Backstreet Boys, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. I wanted to cry. At first it was like, WOO BACKSTREET! And then I saw those two and my reaction was no go away get out of my heaaaaad.

So rude. 

– Anyway, speaking of Bob, I just spent a long time on Instagram. My feed has been taken up by some guy I know from work. He’s on holiday and every single picture taken is going on Instagram I guess. Every single one. Every one of them. All of them. My entire feed is him. Fun. Might buy him a photo album. Remember those?

– Got into a discussion on racism on here. If you follow my other blog, I posted about it there. Anyway, yeah, it’s so frustrating when people don’t understand and they never will. What’s the point? That’s what I ask myself. My head hurts.

– Bob update (I’m weak)

So, Bob’s watching the world’s most exciting baseball game ever (!) and narrating, I guess. He’s a really shitty narrator, mostly because I had to try and watch the game through his sunglasses. Bob, you’re very pretty and your sunglasses are great, but it would help if we could see what you were talking about. Especially if you’re like me and have zero understanding of baseball. Turn the camera around. Turn your phone around. It’s okay. We’ve seen how beautiful you are. I promise that we won’t forget. 

– Speaking of beauty….

– Speaking of baseball, I was never really a sports team kind of girl. Weird because I love sports. I actually found a job opening for something sports related and I have decided to apply because that actually interests me. I probably won’t get it, but I feel as if fate brought me too it. Anyway, not weird because my parents were super strict. I was once on my school rounders team, though. I could hit the ball out of the park. I was really good. Man, I almost wish I could just serve balls for fun. I can’t remember the terminology. The pitcher throws the ball and what does the person hitting it do? LOL. I better get researching. 

– I’m still going with the novel. I think my word target of 80,000 is unrealistic, though I’m 10% through. I have no plot. My plot is basically sad girl is sad. Sad girl sees bad thing. Sad girl meets bad girl. Sad girl has no friends. Sad girl meets new guy friend. I’m not about to write a romance novel (been there, done that) so… Yeah. I’ll think about it. 

– Speaking of writing, imaginary! Bob will return when when I post the story in full. It’s not going to be a novel, but hey, at least I wrote a thing. 

peace and love + have a good week! 


the friendship lottery

I believe that life is like a lottery. We play it each week and most of us lose. The minority win and get richer. That’s basically it. 

Friendship follows the same principle. I think if I could think of all of the friends I have that haven’t let me down in some way that I’ve known for over a year, I’d come up with maybe two people. That’s two better than some people but I have some bad luck with friends. I’m playing at scratch card level and still striking out.  Aimlessly playing slots and losing patience as opposed to money. 
There’s my racist friend, my best friends from way back who ditched me without a second thought, my very first best friend, my last best friend and many more. 

I could write a book (hey, another novel idea!) on it but I won’t. Today I have two things I want to comment on. 

There’s my racist friend – okay, well maybe she’s not racist, just dumb as hell. You can see the story somewhere here. I’ve written it up so many times because I’m still shocked and appalled by it all. To this day, she has not actually acknowledged that she crossed the line. She just apologised for not having time to care about people being racially abused. And all of that aside, she had then nerve to drop me. My inbox should be FULL of apologies from her but it’s crickets instead. Black brothers and sisters, if you ever need to do the racism test on your friends, please follow my method. It’s quick and effective. 

And then there are the friends that are like, ‘long time, no talk! Guess we’ve both been busy!’

Excuse me. 

Yes, it’s been a long time, because you haven’t attempted to talk to me in a long time. What the fuck do I look like? A receptionist who makes our weekly scheduled friendship check up? I don’t think so. You’ve got hands, you get in touch with me for once. 

The amount of people out there who think that their friends have all of the time in the world to get in touch with them is astounding. I have been an awful communicator for the past few years or so, but I am aware of that. I don’t expect anyone to keep initiating conversation with me when I’m shaky in responding and I actually feel bad. I don’t sit around wondering why nobody says anything. I know that I’m the problem. 

You know when you’re having a bad day and you just message a friend to tell them. And you don’t even need anything from them, just make a few words of comfort. What I get in response is either silence or redirected. Redirected to them and how much worse their day is. This is why I hardly ever bother. There are maybe two or three people that I know will listen. The rest? 

Some people just don’t care. 

In return, I no longer care about them. 

Guess I won’t be winning that lottery any time soon. 

the land of bob | Random Thoughts #31

Y’all get a Bob special because I have nothing interesting to say. Or I had nothing interesting to say until I sat down to write this. If you’re new here, we’ll just pretend that Bob is… someone who I know but not really. If you’re not new here – I’m sorry
This post will also feature actual random thoughts, though! Apparently Bob is now a weird memory lane trigger. Huzzah!

Damn, I wanted to see who that man was

– when Bob isn’t even the interesting part of his own video.

Are those things moose?

I think they were deer. Is moose the plural of moose? And now I remember my book of animals from when I was a kid. I think it was a gift for my tenth birthday. It must be on my mother’s bookshelf somewhere. I used to love reading it…Along with the Weetabix altlas that I used to cherish. I used to memorise the list of countries for each continent. Yeah, I was a nerdy kid. 

Anyway, back to Sir Bob. 

Funny story. I mentioned a few posts back that I figured out how to save his videos (the way the stories feature works is that they all play in a row and that was overwhelming. Especially when Bob can have eighteen different parts at one time). So I saved a whole bunch last week when I was really angry due to work. Bob time is usually when I’m bored or can’t sleep so I figured I’d watch them later. 

Didn’t watch a single one. 

I looked at the pictures, deleted those, and moved on. I haven’t saved any since. In a way, I think the best thing is that I can play each video separately and I can avoid whatever looks extra cringey. 

Which is most of it.

Anyway, right now we have a picture of sunglasses. 

Nice sunglasses. Wait… how many pairs does he have? It’s like a revolving door of shades.

At this point, I’m convinced that he has a walk-in closet of shades. Theyre always different. 

Forehead wrinkles are no joke

Apparently, Bob is ’embracing’ his. 

We’ll see how true that is in ten years time. Bob is usually always very well put together unless he’s going for that staged bedhead look. Dr Botox is in his future. I’m joking, I’m joking. Kinda. KINDA. 

Wait, he’s ON THE HORSE? No, no, no and no. 

So, after a long day of shopping (mostly window shopping with someone else so I was fine and not panicking because people), I sat down to watch something. My tablet crashed so I decided to watch the saved videos I mentioned above because Bob has nothing up at the moment. Nothing. I ended up missing all the ones from yesterday but I don’t care about that. There’s nothing now. Its weird when I have a video up and Bob doesn’t. I barely post anything!

I’m sure he will back. How will he survive without updating us on his thrilling activities?!

Anyway, so the first video I clicked on was of Bob riding a horse. That makes sense, the pictures from that day were of him on a horse. That’s fine, except this is Bob filming himself while on the horse. Like, one hand is free and everything just so he can hold up his (probably bedazzled with a picture of him on the back) phone and make multiple videos. I backclicked so fast that I felt like I was the one riding a horse.

Why?

Just ride the damn horse and enjoy it. 

Or come up with interesting commentary. He was just talking about whatever. I wasn’t even listening. 

Speaking of horses….

I went horseback riding one time and they gave me the most temperamental horse. By that I mean it was batshit crazy. They called him Trojan, that’s how crazy he was. There I was, all of ten years old, completely terrified by my horse apparently chasing the other horses while I was on it. Anyway, can you imagine if that was today and I was live videoing it. I’d probably have a cast or two by the end of the day. Hell, I’d be a meme. 

I think that’s enough about real Bob. As you can see that intervention is working out great! 

Here’s a little more of the story about imaginary! Bob. The first part is here somewhere and the second is here somewhere. 

iii

Three days after he made an anonymous call to the police, a small article hit the local paper’s website. The picture was one of his, some free shot of the beach that he allowed them to use. The headline read: ‘Unidentified body’ on the beach. The text under was textbook police guff about an investigation being carried out. 

With a weary shake of his head, Bob forwarded the message to his friend Tim and added, ‘bet they won’t do anything!’. 

Tim’s response was quick and to the point: “why do you care?”

That question, despite its flippant nature, made Bob think. 

Why did he care? After all, he didn’t stick around to make sure that the cops found the body. All he did was make a phone call. Why was it that he wanted to know more? He wanted to know why that person ended up there. How they ended up there. 
There was also the small matter of the picture he’d taken haunting his mind like an errant shadow, always in frame but just off to the side. Visible and fading at the same time.

Still, what did he know? He wasn’t a detective. He didn’t know the first thing about bodies and the police hadn’t released a treasure trove of details. 

There wasn’t much he could do. 

Dun dun dunnnnnn. 

Oh and Bob did finally post something and it was…a woman dragging her bag on the floor in some kind of public place with the caption ‘classy!’. Well. I watched it three times and I think that’s what he took issue with. I am confused by Bob 99.9% of the time. However, it was odd that this woman was just dragging her bag like that. LOL.

But yeah…

You know how sometimes we see something and we think that’s just wrong but at the same time, it’s not that deep and not hurting anybody? 

The appropriate response is to keep our phones in our pockets and mind our business. 

-htbs

I am a vision, I am justice

For You / The Calling

I am a vision, I am justice
Never thought that I could love
Living in shadows, faded existence
It was never good enough

Within the darkness, you are the light
That shines away
You’re trapped in violence, I can be the man
Who saves the day

I’m there for you, no matter what
I’m there for you, Never giving up
I’m there for you
For you

Someone has changed me, something saved me
Now this is who I am
Although I was blinded, my heart let me find that
Truth makes a better man

I didn’t notice
When you were right in front of me
A mask of silence
We’ll put away so we can see

I’m there for you, no matter what
I’m there for you, never giving up
I’m there for you
For you, for you

Within the darkness, you are the light
That shines away
In this blind justice, I can be the man
Who saves the day

I’m there for you, no matter what
I’m there for you, never giving up

You know it’s true
You were there for me
And I’m there for you
For you, for you, for you

(This song will always be the best thing about the Daredevil movie!)

So mushroom in my heart

Have a good weekend, snarklings! Be kind to one another. Be kind to yourself. Dance to the Backstreet boys like nobody’s around. Bake a cake. Eat chocolate. Sing a song. Paint a pretty picture and…

Well, okay, that was me trying to be positive because my weekend already has awful stamped all over it. I’m also going back to work on Monday, so…

… I’m definitely going to overindulge in chocolate. 

The Big One | Random Thoughts #30

It’s the big three-oh, people! 

I think this is the first ever blog series that I’ve stuck with. Mostly because somehow it became a way to bitch about Bob, the (at this point, random) guy I follow. You could say that he’s famous, but I’m willing to bet that you’ve never heard of him, and if you have, you don’t actually know his real name. If you know his real name you’d probably judge me or think I’m a bitch, so he shall continue to remain anonymous. For now. 

Anyway, I might have mentioned that I saw Bob on a TV show. He’s not even the hottest guy on the show, he’s just white, blond (kinda), the kind of guy that my teenage self would have loved. It’s hilarious that I went past all of the good looking guys and circled in on Bob, but white, blond guys are my kryptonite and not in a good way. 

I used to sort of know this guy called Michael. He seemed nice. He was a terrible guitarist (well, he was a beginner) and the kind of person who seemed overly concerned with his appearance. Anyway, I became enamoured with him. His black leather jacket, his hair, his cute button nose. By enamoured, I mean that I followed the poor boy. I sometimes wish I could find him and apologize because I had my own strange stalker incident later and I realised how uncomfortable it is when someone is following you. 

Anyway, Michael was weird in that I eventually lost interest in him. By eventually, I mean that his mother yelled at me and I decided that no guy was worth the aggro, it’s not like I was following him home. Just from the music building to the exit. Two minutes, maybe three times a week. The fact that he blabbed to his mother was a major turn off. Plus, I thought it was lame that he was still picked up by her. I’d been going to school by myself since the age of 8/9, I thought I knew it all, lol. 

I remember walking past him a few times afterwards and it was just awkward. It was like some kind of standoff where we both disliked each other. At some points, he’d be smirking, he probably thought that he’d won. Ha. Well. He did. Whatever. LOL. 

Despite our awkward encounters, Michael and I had our one moment of normalcy. 

Me: I like your haircut

Michael (smile): Thanks

Me: (explodes)

I didn’t actually like his hair cut. His hair was the best part about him and he CUT IT ALL OFF. But whatever, it was nice. The moment and not the haircut. The haircut was awful. 

Sometime later he showed up and he was orange. 

That was the beginning of the end. If you’re going to get a fake tan, please limit yourself. 

Anyway, yeah, what else. I owe you a second part of Bob’s Adventures! First part is in this post, in the middle somewhere, lol. 

“Oh, fuck,” Bob muttered, because he’d seen this movie before. This was the part where he’d call it in and they would suspect him. It didn’t pay to be honest sometimes, but he couldn’t just ignore the hand.

It was a pale, blueish colour, marked by a long scratch. The nails were buried under the sand preventing him from seeing what they looked like. On CSI, they’d look for skin under the nails, right?

Bob stopped that line of thought in his tracks. This wasn’t a television show, this was real life.

Someone was dead.

The mystery continues. Ha. 

Anyway, onto the picture portion of the post. I’m trying to keep it short. I want to get back to how much blog was in the beginning. It was truly kind of cathartic. I think having six followers was somewhat liberating, compared to say anything above fifty. It goes from freedom to playing for the gallery and that’s the easiest way to suck the fun out of anything. 

I can think of a few people that this applies to. 

So, anyway, I was on Pinterest. Are y’all on Pinterest? I would tell you mine but I (for whatever bizarre reason) use my real name on there so I shall remain mysterious (I promise that I’m not a spy. Now I’m wondering if spies use Pinterest). I saw this twisty braid thing and I taught myself how to do it. 

Trouble is that mine looks MESSY. Stray hairs everywhere. It’s bad. I need to learn how to cornrow hair, but for real, I need to start with the basics. Parting hair with straight lines. Either my head is too big or I have little patience but apart from my side part, I am horrible at it. 

Wrapping up…

I am so bad at replying to everything, but I’m working on getting my energy levels back to normal. I bought co enzyme q10 (whooo, mitochondria party!), iron and…Coffee. I lasted one day without coffee and I survived. I knew I could do it! That was a trial run, the real test is coming soon. 

Peace & love, folks. 

Thank you for reading Random Thoughts. I hope you’ve laughed, smiled or found something relatable in any of the posts. Once again, I apologize for Bob. You guys already know that I’m a weird individual. 😂 but there will be less of him from now on. I think. Maybe. 

an injection of fun ^_^ | Random Thoughts #29.5

Originally this wasn’t Random Thoughts, until it ended up being very random. So it’s #29.5 because I have already started writing #30. 

Yeah, I don’t get it either. 

I sit down to write posts and sad words always come out. At least my other blog lives up to its snarky name, this one? No. Originally, I created this blog because I was posting too much random shit on my main blog. I have around about the same followers on both now (let’s just say that I’m really not that popular), so at this point, I’m chatting rubbish to an equal amount of people. That’s okay. 

What this place needs is an injection of fun. I can do fun. I find random shit funny all the time. I’m always laughing. I’m hilarious. Alright, scratch the last one, I’ll leave the arrogance to the blowhards.  Anyway, how can I make this blog fun. 

Let’s see. 

There’s a random Happy Endings quote. That’s fun, right? 

What else…

Another one. Still fun!

I still miss Happy Endings. That show was there for me through some hard times. 

Man, what else? Maybe we should leave the fun for supernaturalsnark? I wanted to write a post about Usher and his nasty herpes transmitting ass. Not judging anyone with herpes, but I’ll judge you for getting busy without letting people know. That’s plain nasty. Usher ain’t worth more words than that. I have to delete his song ‘Dive’ from my phone. I can’t. I just can’t. 

Just thinking about it has me like this:

Enough about STDs and back to the fun. 

I need this t-shirt. And maybe one of these. I’ve lost count of the number of times people have told me that I look angry and my reaction is actually I feel great today! I think the problem is that I daydream A LOT. It’s a bad habit of mine. I get so lost in thought that my face just gets all screwed up and I look angry. My real angry face is funny as fuck. It’s like a scrunched up turnip. 

Puns are always fun! 

YES. This is so me. I’m partial to the odd f-bomb or twenty, but they just spill out at work. I need to work on reforming myself. When I was a kid I never used to swear. I find that it comes as you get older and realise what a steaming pile of shit life really is. Even in writing, I find myself swearing like a bad habit. Usually I catch myself doing it and take out the really unnecessary ones, but it’s kind of funny to ctrl+f fucking.

Anyway, I hope there was at least ONE amusing thing in this post! 😉