Girl, can you shut up

Hello, snarklings!

You know I didn’t realise that I’d taken a blogging break until over the weekend? Sometimes I get lost in my own head and don’t realise it, but I’m back! 

Last week was relatively uneventful but this happened…


I was on my way home when I sort of crossed the road in a dodgy manner. I noticed these two guys stumbling outside of park and I was like, let me try and walk past unnoticed. 
Didn’t work. 

They gestured for me to take my headphones out (sigh…), asked me if I was alright (sigh…), asked me where I was from (sigh…). Tried to make me guess where one of them was from (final answer was ‘question mark’). 

This was all after midnight, so I’m tired, have a headache and want to go home. I’m hoping that they will go in one direction while I go in mine. 

My hope was unfulfilled. 

They say that they’ll walk me home because it’s late (oh, thank you? Where were they when I was walking home an hour later every day way back in December?).

Anyway, we start walking and one guy, the chatty one, asks me a lot of questions. The other one is quiet…bizarrely enough, he wanted my number but didn’t give me his when I said that I’d take it instead, but his friend gave me his number – but not his name? He told me to save it as Jack of Jill so I went with Rando. I think Rando said that the other guy doesn’t have a phone which explains the number malarkey. 

The number he gave me is an extra digit long as well but the upside is that there is someone out there with a picture of young!Arnold Schwarzenegger as their profile photo on WhatsApp and it’s hilarious. I have no idea if it’s one of these guys or not and I didn’t bother to find out.

Back to the story…

Oddly enough, little old quiet me wasn’t quiet for once. Oh, no, I was snarky, chatty, and I actually let them partially walk me home. The usual me would have doubled back and taken a different route just to make sure that they were gone. The usual me would not have said a word. 

However, my aversion to people tends to temporarily malfunction when I’m tired, irritated and have a headache. I was/had all three and talking to these guys actually distracted me from that. I, of course, had a bright yellow bag with me which I’m never taking out again. Clearly it will attract all sorts, lol. 

At one point, they were almost jogging to keep up with me and they continued to try and guess where I worked. The funny guy asked me why I was in a rush. Fam, it’s after midnight and I’m on my way home from work, I’m not really going to be taking my time. I’m not that big of an idiot.

Anyway, me being the introverted social anxiety sufferer that I am, I’ve now replayed it a million times in my head. The running theme of the conversation was where I worked (they would guess, I would say no). That was because I told them I was on my way back from work and also sort of mentioned the area that I worked in before I finally had a brainwave and I was like, girl can you shut up. 

How do I go from saying nothing to blabbing uncontrollably? I don’t babble at strangers. Ever. 

So I played it coy from that point on. It was nice to have someone to partially walk me home and we did have a funny conversation – I asked if they were chilling and they were like LOL NO AT THIS TIME? I just said, ‘well, you both look pretty comfortable that’s why I’m asking [as you stumbled out of the park at this unsociable hour].’ 

Maybe you had to be there, but still, it was interesting. One of them freely admitted that he was high and not making sense and I was just thinking…that explains a lot. 

However, like I said to my friend, I hope I never see them again…

  1. I am probably older than both of them.
  2. …. I’m not sure if approaching a female who’s on her own after midnight is a good thing? Is this a thing that people do outside of club areas? This was a residential area and there was no one else around. 
  3. For my own safety. My friend asked me if I was scared and I genuinely wasn’t. Maybe I should have been? LOL. 

      If you’re wondering why these guys were even interested in me at all, you’re not the only one. I looked absolutely awful.  I wasn’t wearing a single lick of make up. My hair was a mess, my face was greasy because it’s so hot. I was sweaty. I didn’t look hideous but I didn’t look special either. . 

      I guess it was just the perfect day for two strangers to show up and walk me home. 

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