You Look Like A Barbie Doll

I wore makeup to work for the first time in a month. 

It was just silver eyeliner, mascara and lipstick. I stick to my limits these days. I’ve been through my caked in foundation phase. It was too much effort. I need my sleep, yo. I was never good at applying it anyway. 

Anyway, there’s this girl at work whose face is… gold (and that’s my nice way of saying yellow). I have no idea what the hell she’s put on it. It’s just too much. She looks like a doll. No offence to her but why is she wasting perfectly good makeup on work? The shit we do doesn’t require us to look that good. People get defensive about their make up and talk about how they wear it to feel fierce and powerful and whatever. 

You see tons of YouTube beauty tutorials. Contouring, eyebrow shaping, clown make up. There always seems to be a way to enhance our look even further. That’s fine. For parties, your wedding day (and if you really hate someone, their funeral). Every day? No. I say this as a woman myself. Makeup is a full time job for these people but with little pay off. 

I don’t think there’s anything empowering about waking up two hours early to apply makeup on your face just to feel good about yourself. There’s got to be an easier way. Buy a chocolate bar, or an ice cream. Or go vegan. I hear that they’re all very happy people who don’t have chips on their shoulders. Or take that extra two hours to sleep and look better in the morning? 

From my own experience with excessive makeup, there’s never any moment where you feel good. I’m talking about really good. I was never far away from a mirror. I was dabbing the shine away. Reapplying. Always fixing. I was always asking people if it was melting off. In the end I was like, fuck this. It was too much. Initially, I put it on because I hated the way I look, but I think I looked even more ridiculous with it on*. I wasn’t ready to start watching videos and all of that either. 

The way I see it, I can leave all of that for whenever I need to look fancy schmancy. 

I say this as someone who occasionally puts on makeup just to go food shopping. That’s thirty minutes for a twenty minute journey where I make eye contact and communicate with approximately…no one. 

That’s not empowering, it’s just dumb. 

I’m not judging anyone who does it, though. I once fell into that trap and I am grateful that I clawed my way out of it. We are taught from a young age that makeup is beauty. Magazines. Commercials. Movies. TV. Everywhere. 

Makeup gets you all the boys. Makeup gets you ahead in life. That might be true, but I’d rather get all of that with my natural face, pimples and all. Just saying. 

(*turns out that makeup doesn’t cure self-esteem issues.)


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