un-motivational quotes

Fun fact about me: I have a Pinterest board of motivational quotes. 

I’d get low and start saving them because apparently they made me felt better. 

They don’t. 

They really don’t. 

Most of them are fluffy nonsense that make sense in theory but not to much in reality. 

For that reason, I’ve decided to take one for the team and dissect ten random motivational quotes from my Pinterest board. You’re all welcome. 

#1

Well. 

Okay, so my board isn’t full of motivational quotes, just snark

Surprise. 

There are some legit motivational quotes in there, but I think they’re buried under the snark. 

Let’s try this again. 

#2 

 …yeah, unless you’re a serial killer. Seriously, what does this mean? No one is you so, yay, you’re awesome! We’re all special snowflakes? Okay then.  

#3

Vanilla Ice begs to differ. 

#4

What kind of pep talk is that? My pep talks include more insults and swearing. 

Example: What the fuck is wrong with you? Stop being so stupid, you egg. Be productive and do what you fucking need to do for fuck’s sake. PUT THE CHOCOLATE DOWN. WAIT. Pick it up. Shit.

If I told myself I loved myself I don’t think I’d get anything done. I’d be too busy taking selfies and slaying on Instagram. 

#5

Go for what? Syphilis? Can we be more specific? 

#6

Were you lost before? Like, physically lost? Did you use Google Maps to find yourself? Girl. 

#7 

This isn’t motivational, this is what happens when you’re running late and you didn’t have time to look up where you’re going. Or when you decide to take a ‘shortcut’ that must be there even though you’ve never taken it before. 

#8 

I didn’t realise that shapeshifters really existed. I guess this person graduated from Hogwarts. 

#9 

Yeah, because I was torn on whether or not I’d pick between happy and miserable before. Thanks for the direction. 

#10

Actually, I kind of like this one. It’s direct and to the point. 

The way motivational quotes should be. 

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16 thoughts on “un-motivational quotes

  1. Definitely words to live by. All of them!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I suppose. I think the fact that they have to be ‘bite-sized’ takes a lot away from what they’re supposed to do (for me at least πŸ˜‚).

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      1. Some of the best things in life are bite sized. Rolos, hors d’oeuvres, and brownies that masquerade as 2 bites when we all know they’re one πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I LOLed several times during this post! Your comments and your ‘pep talk’.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, glad I could make you laugh! My pep talks genuinely go like that. I’m all about tough love!

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  3. I like #1 #2 is confusing because apparently not having a twin is a superpower but what about the wonder twins and they’re magical ring?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. See! Half of these quotes are lying to us!

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      1. hi snark. I did a post where i listed my 5 favorite blogs to read this week and you were one of the 5

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Aww, that’s so kind of you! Thank you so much πŸ˜€

        Like

  4. Lol I see your point. The chocolate one though…cracked me 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chocolate should never be put down!

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      1. I’m not a fan of chocolate 😎

        Liked by 1 person

      2. … What’s wrong with you?!!

        Like

      3. Oh now something is wrong with me cause I don’t like chocolate? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

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