birthday blues

It’s my birthday today. 20th October to be exact. I somehow hit publish without realising. I’m gonna schedule it again for midnight now because I can’t be trusted. 

Anyway, yeah, birthday schmirthday. 
Wooooooooo-wheeeeee!

I am not a big fan of birthdays. 

When I turned… Let’s just say, 21, I was by myself. It was an interesting day. I was in the middle of an impressive slump. I had spent something like two days in bed. I was sick. Eventually, someone convinced me to go out and get something special to eat. So, I got a takeaway and alcohol (when I say sick, it was more lack of energy than projectile vomiting, but yeah, not sure why I got alcohol). I remember feeling sad that I didn’t get carded. I just felt like a loser. No friends. No cake (I should have just bought one!). Cake is important to me. I love birthday cake. 

Anyway, I managed to salvage the day. I sat down to watch a movie and it wasn’t interesting. So I stumbled onto this silly TV show. I spent two hours laughing my ass off and having a whale of a time. I think I also watched You Got Served, or some other movie, but I generally enjoyed myself in the end. I still felt lame, though. 

Not that I wanted to make a big deal out of it. I’m over the spectacle of it. That’s probably because I’m older now and I think birthdays become less important when you’re over a certain age. I am not bothered by presents because I can buy stuff for myself. 

For me, self-love is my eBay account. 

I’ve also decided that being miserable is enough for the other 364 days of the year. I just want to chill and eat cake. 

When I was growing up, I despised my birthday. Something always went wrong. Typically it was just a family gathering, but there was almost always drama. I also almost always had school, lol, so I didn’t get to do anything fun. I’ve only ever had something like two birthday parties in my life that I remember. When I was ten, and when I turned eighteen. Both were great fun, but there’s always a lingering sadness. 

Unfortunately, people seem to take I hate my birthday as a sign that they should go crazy. My sister always spends way more money that I’d expect her to. People seem more excited than I am. Back in the day, my friends would conduct impromptu singalongs of Happy Birthday and generally make a fuss. I always found it more embarrassing than anything, although, it was appreciated. These days, I get a handful of emails, tweets and Facebook posts from people I don’t talk to. That’s cool. I can deal with that. 

A few years ago I got a Jared Padalecki birthday card. If you follow my other blog, you’ll know that I haven’t really been feeling him for a while. When I got the card, my face was just like this:

On one hand, this person and I were close but evidently not close enough for her know that I’d been calling him out for at least a year. It’s like a Clinton supporter getting a Trump birthday card. Except, I appreciated the effort she’d gone too. At the time, I thanked her for it and probably lied my ass off. Later, I told her that the card was one of the things that made me see that our friendship was going downhill. Lol, I think I take my honesty too far sometimes. 

I remember talking to this girl who was going crazy over her birthday, so and so was doing this. She was still getting messages and this present wasn’t great. I was just thinking, bish, your birthday is over. It was a week ago, why are you tripping? You know you get those people who want you dedicate the whole month to them because it’s their birthday month. Sorry, but you get one day. Maybe a few if your party isn’t on the day. 

At the end of the day, though, a birthday is just another day. It should be a day of self-reflection if anything. You’ve made it another year, be thankful. All of this worrying about gifts and parties is so irrelevant. 

I saw an article entitled what celebrities do on their birthdays. 

Who gives a shit? Does Vanilla Ice play pin the donkey with magnetic grills? Does Steven Seagal kick the shit out of people for fun? Wait. What does Chris Hemsworth do? If I was him I’d dress up as Thor and randomly pop up in different places. Maybe I’ll do that next year. My great big Thor cosplay. LOL.

Anyway, y’all, that’s what was on my mind. I’m going to go and do something else now.

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12 thoughts on “birthday blues

  1. Happy Birthday! 🎂 I vote for lots of cake… and ice cream. And anything else you want on your day. That’s pretty much all my birthday is now… An excuse to have all my favorite things… in one day… and hope I don’t puke. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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