#61

Welcome all. Apparently the freezing cold weather hasn’t been for nothing. We officially have snow in the UK… yaay? I’m not going to knock snow but it’s pointless when you’re not in school or if it snows over the weekend. Life still goes on. It’s still fucking freezing. Residential areas are still a bitch to walk in. So, yeah, snow is pretty but inconvenient. 

Making Friends

The guy from work that I met a few weeks ago always looks so happy to see me. I have no idea what’s going on here. Maybe that’s just his face. He also told me that I looked good and asked what my secret was. I was confused because because I got my usual round of you look tired/angry on that day. No one ever says that I look good. In the end I sort of laughed it off. Actually he’s made a few comments that I have laughed off. I am not good at this kind of thing. I like seeing him and talking to him for a few minutes here and there. I might be imagining things? I don’t know. 

Speaking of friends, I am now one of those people who knows everyone at work. I am not the most social person, but it’s nice to see that I’ve come along way from the girl who’d spend hours in silence. I still panic internally but I can see some signs of improvement. Yay me!

Wow, y’all – I forgot all about Bob McDoofus this week. Progress! So much. His formerly cute friend has a birthday and it is now. By now I mean whenever I clicked on Bob’s Instagram. Happy Birthday to him. May someone gift him with a better haircut. Bob’s friends are way more mayo than I’d expect from someone who lives in LA, but I guess it isn’t surprising. I think LA is sort of like London (in terms of the batshit craziness that occurs), but I think London probably has the same groups of mostly white hipsters that don’t actually mix with other cultures. So much for diversity. 

Anyway, Bob is back to his McDoofus ways. There was some gym shaming when I clicked on his stories now. 

He took two pictures of the same guy who apparently wasn’t working out hard enough with the weight that Bob was using??????

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd?

Douchey on that guy’s part but did it warrant the pictures? Not really. What benefit does it serve? Will all gym members across the city be on the lookout for this slacker? It’s unnecessary and kind of skeevy. 

I went through my phone and found some old videos of his that I’d never watched. This was from when I’d download them. Anyway, they were all of him horseback riding with his girlfriend and visiting a vineyard. I just thought to myself why on earth did you save these? I gave myself a good talking to. 

Anyway, in more recent videos he’s at a national park. He highlights the size of a tree thing (look at the size of this motherf***er) and then compares it to a little gnome. Y’all know that I’m a pedant so I’m going to keep it moving. His girlfriend goes to hug a tree and he says ‘be one with the tree…’

GOODBYE BOB.

I’m low-key confused that they’re doing anything other than chilling on the weekend. Hugging trees seems waaaay too much like work to me. And unsanitary, but that’s just me. 

Writing

I’m back! I wrote just friends. I’m working on another story that I need to finish. My novel will hopefully have a second chapter before the end of the year. Woo! 

I smiled and wigged my shoulders. 

Boom. Six word story. LOL. I will own up to something here. I don’t get six word stories. I’ve read some really nice ones but… they are just sentences, right? I don’t know. LOL. 

I can’t explain how much writing has an impact on my life. Without it, I’d be lost. Half of what I know has come from research done for my writing. 

I am writing and writing is me. Je suis writing. Writing c’est moi. 

My French has always been terrible. 

Being positive

I’m going to try this (next) week. I feel like I have too many things going on to be down and in the dumps. I have bad hands, my back hurts, I have bruises all over my body because tis the season to be itchy thanks to eczema. Sleep hasn’t been great. Work sucks. However, I’m alive. I’m surviving. That’s one thing to be happy about. So I will try. 

Christmas

It doesn’t feel like Christmas to me. I find all attempts to make Christmas happen just fall a bit flat. I’m not interested in it at all. I’m looking forward to a day off work. That’s about it. I feel like in London at least, there’s less focus on Christmas this year. One week into December and with the exception of a few lights, you’d hardly know that Christmas is upon us. Given that the next year is going to even more depressing for us than this year, I’m not surprised. I am still angry that Trump and co are ensuring that there’s not much international scrutiny on Brexit. In two years when the market has crashed and everyone is scratching their heads, I will redirect them to 2017. 

Random Lyrics

They might try to tell you how you can live your life
But don’t don’t forget it’s your right
To do whatever you like, you like, you like, you like
‘Cause they might how to tell you how you can live your life
But don’t, don’t forget it’s your right
To do whatever you like, you like
‘Cause you can be your own spotlght

Laughs at everything

So, I read a post over at Ben’s Bitter Blog (check it out, you won’t be disappointed) and he was talking about the various kinds of people at work. I realised that I was all of them with the exception of Walkstooclose and Pokeshernoseintoeverything. 

Specifically Laughsateverything. 

I laugh at almost everything. I find really weird things funny. I don’t have a weird sense of humour (I hate that phrase), I just find a wide range of things amusing.

On Supernatural, my favourite character, Sam Winchester, died for the first time during the second season, and I always thought it was hilarious because of another character chasing the murderer in the background. It just seemed so bizarre to me. Screw the fact that someone is bleeding to death, let’s go after a knife wielding murder who has supernatural powers! It was just a lazy way to get that character out of the scene but I thought it was absolutely hilarious. 

I take that approach to life. I am always laughing at something. I am always cracking jokes that are not necessarily funny to anyone but me. I laugh when I don’t hear what someone is saying and I can’t be bothered to ask for the fifteenth time. I laugh when I don’t feel like responding. I laugh when I get injured. I took a box to the gut this week and I couldn’t stop laughing. It’s not that I thought it was funny, I was just laughing. I couldn’t control it, but in a way, it meant that I didn’t feel the pain of the box. We all laughed through it and I was fine. 

I injure myself on a daily basis but it doesn’t hurt much these days. Mostly because I am in pain constantly anyway. Constant pain nullifies pain that eventually fades. Anyway, I digress. 

I have no idea why I laugh at everything, but people laugh with me. Well, most people do (screw you Awkward Manager) and that’s okay. 

This is going to sound so weird but this dates back to when I was a child. I was a sad kid, you know, strict parents, tough childhood, didn’t mix too much with other people. I used to be withdrawn until I realised that things were so much better when I laughed. Laughing through the pain, I guess. So, I try to find the humour in everything, I try to make other people laugh whenever I can. It’s automatic. 

I’m just the quiet girl that laughs at everything. 

I could be soooo much worse.