I will admit that I maybe have a crush on That Guy (guy that I work with who may or may not like me etc). At this point, there’s no running away from it. I literally start waving like an idiot when I see him. I tend to go over and talk to him (once again, I have no idea who this stranger masquerading as Snark is but I like her confidence). I initiate contact (once again, I have no idea who this stranger is).
However, I feel like I do more talking than he does. We talk about him because I ask and that’s that. Not that I want him to ask about me because I’m a mess, but you know, as someone who examines other people in her spare time, it’s interesting that most of what he has to say about me is superficial. There was an awkward moment yesterday where he sort of came up to me as I was talking to someone else and we both started laughing (!!!).
The main issue I have is that whenever I go to talk to him I basically feel ~things~ panic and do my best to get the hell away (oh, finally, here’s normal Snark!). And also he’s basically told me many, many times that I look good and I basically brush it off. I don’t know what that means to him. Or me.
The second issue is that I work with him and I actually heard from someone who went out with a guy (we’ll call him X) who sort of works with That Guy. It didn’t work out and X started talking about this person and THAT WILL NOT BE MY LIFE. I am happy to just remain in the flirting stage forever than have people talking about me. Ew.
The gossip at work is so gross. It’s even worse when you realise that you’re a part of it. I always stop and think SNARK, SHUT THE FUCK UP. At the same time, some people love to spread their own business. If they were slices of bread, they’d be buttered the fuck up, I mean, damn. You’re not that interesting. And even if you are, I’m only going to put you in my novel. You don’t want that. I might get a three picture movie deal. You never know.
Anyway, yes for the first time in years, I have a crush on someone. However, I am still my own boyfriend for the time being.
My last crush was a guy that I went to university with. I didn’t know his name because I didn’t speak to anyone. I had bad anxiety the whole time I was there, so it was a case of turn up and run away as soon as it was possible to do so.
Until one day, when I was binding my project report or my dissertation, whichever I handed in last. There I was, struggling with the binding machine when he appeared. I can’t even remember if he was waiting, but I was so desperate that I asked him to help me. Neither of us could figure it out for a while before he did eventually, but he was so sweet and helpful. Even if it wasn’t meant to be, I’m glad that I got a chance to see that he was a nice guy.
Anyway, enough about this yucky crush romance stuff. Bleh.
Back to talking about how everything is terrible and annoying.