First things first, and because I’m not entirely miserable…
Secondly, Valentine’s Day is so stupid. I’m not even sure why it exists. To me, it’s just another day. Being a loner means that things like Valentine’s Day pass me by.
Literally, on Monday, someone was like, “Wednesday’s close…” and I had no idea what they were talking about. On Tuesday, someone asked me ‘what tomorrow is’ and I just said, “Wednesday’.
It took me a while to remember that it’s Valentine’s Day.
I feel like Valentine’s Day should be for teenagers and little kids who love their mothers.
Scratch that. Just little kids who love their mothers. Teenagers are already busy trying to avoiding catching STDs, do we need to give them a free day? Nope. We should abolish it just for the sake of the children. Really.
Think about it. Flowers. Chocolates. Lingerie. Dinner. Valentine’s Day is literally all about the downstairs shuffle. It’s like the Barney Stinson of ‘holidays’ but The Playbook is really just retail bosses with a long list of goal$.
The adult focus on Valentine’s Day is bizarre. If you’re over the age of 18, the day should pass you by. No woman should be sitting around at home wondering why her dude didn’t buy a bunch of chocolates that will be marked down in a couple of days. Or flowers that will die the same way regular flowers do. Or a card that becomes as pointless as all other cards. Or dinner at a packed restaurant. Or why he didn’t call. Same thing for guys.
It really is one of those days that literally has money smothered all over it once you’re an adult. The only good thing is that they reduce chocolate and ice cream, but in this day and age, they do that because they know that plebs like me can’t actually afford real food. Either way, I’m not winning here.
None of us are winning.
Except for the people selling us this shit to begin with.
And yes, I’m single, and if that makes me one of those people that’s not allowed to hate Valentine’s Day, the joke is on you. I hate what I hate! Plus, research is on my side. Apparently, Americans spend TWENTY BILLION DOLLARS on Valentine’s Day. What the fuck? That’s a lot of money. That’s like, how much a gazillion Mission: Impossible movies would make and let’s face it, at the rate Tom Cruise is going, he will make a gazillion.
Imagine how much better life would be if they saved that money and just wasted it over Christmas instead.
With social media, Valentine’s Day has probably become really annoying. Instagram, Snapchat, whatever else. I’m sure they will be awash with gross (sorry, romantic) messages all over the place and whatnot.
I will be staying far away from it all.
Here in Snarkville, February 14th is just another day.
Just one more note. Valentine’s Week?
February 9 is particularly outrageous.
Chocolate day is EVERY DAY, thank you very much.