After the disastrous date, I decided to focus on my life. Namely how I planned to finance the six bedroom house I so desperately wanted. Not because I was one of these girls who dreamed of being chosen by a billionaire with good taste, but because I was the kind of person who would get bored enough to use all six bedrooms (provided that I didn’t pick up any strays).
However, before I could even dream of that, there was someone I had to remove from my life. That useless lug of tissue and matter that masqueraded as a roommate. He wasn’t so much of roommate as a freeloader. I was sympathetic to his plight. His girlfriend of seven years had gotten that itch and then married his best friends two months later. After an epic office meltdown, he’d lost his job and I took pity on him. I took the pity on the asshole who used to finish all of the milk at work.
I should have known better, but honestly, my mouth and my brain rarely ever communicated well. It was just a line of static with the occasional crackle.
That being said, enough was enough.
I groaned to myself as I approached him. He was in his default position. Trash talking sixteen year old kids on Xbox Live.
“Hey, man, so, I’m going to need you to either pay me rent, or move out.”
That’s what I mean to say.
What came out was, “Hey, I need money for my six bedroom house.”
He paused his game and looked at me. “I would love to help you but if you hadn’t noticed, my life is in the gutter. Literally. I have nothing. I have no one. Except for you. God bless you.”
I stared at him for a minute before I decided that this conversation wasn’t going to go anywhere.
Next time, I told myself. Next time.
This is much easier when I make Snarky Girl my character. I wonder why. 😂