never smile

Continued on from how I feel


Wednesday 21st March 2018

Today was an absolute example of epic failure. Everything that happened was my fault for being stupid. And forgetful (which was progress…that’s undone any more progress).

I saw him when That Guy when he came in and I have no idea, but, I forgot that I am not talking to him. So I waved. I’m a waver. Some people hate it, but it’s a social anxiety thing. Waving is like saying hi without having to say hi

Halfway through the wave I was like shiiit what are you doing, so I dropped my hand and give him a blank look and merely nodded when he asked if I was okay. He seemed to find this amusing.

I wonder if he’d find the way I want to punch him annoying.

When I saw him next time I blanked him entirely. Not a word. Not a peep. That wasn’t my plan, but I was just like fuck it. He kept on smiling at me and laughing at what not and I was just wondering what the fuck he was on. I didn’t react at all. I was just ignoring him, doing my own thing.

Unfortunately for me, TG’s his friend/colleague was around and he started talking to me. He asked how I was etc. Out of nowhere, That Guy insered himself into the conversation and said that I’m not happy with him at the moment and that I look like I want to hurt him so he was watching his back etc.

Mate, who asked you

He was joking, but I looked at him, and said, ‘I’m not, don’t worry’. Someone is feeling themselves a bit too much. I didn’t say anything to him after that. He was still being really annoying so I left him to it.

Thursday 22nd March 2018

Today, he came down and he was around, making noise as per usual. I didn’t say anything to him because I was as far away as possible. However, I could hear him saying hello to everyone, all exaggerated and loud. I was just looking at him like ‘dude…’ but I didn’t say anything. I went about my business.

At one point, I walked past him because it was unavoidable. I didn’t acknowledge his presence at all until he said something to me, I can’t remember what. Maybe how’s it going or you’re not going to say anything? It was something annoying

I turned to talk to him and we had this conversation.

Him: How’s everything going?
Me: I’m good, you?
Him: You still look like you’re angry with me *laughs*
Me: This is my normal face.
Him: No, it’s not, usually there’s a smile
Me: I never smile
Him: Yes, you do
Me: I really don’t
Him: You do!

At this point I start laughing with him. I made the mistake of looking up and I could see these two people watching us talk (they know a little about the situation) and that made me laugh.

Still, I suppose it broke the ice for the serious part of the conversation.

Him: What’s the problem? Why are you upset with me?
Me: You know what you did.

After that, he apologised again and said that he didn’t mean to [do what he did]. He said that he’s got a lot of stress blah, blah, blah. I said to him that everyone does. He didn’t seem to believe that. He said that he’ll tell me a little bit about it. I just said okay so I could be on my way. I already know that he’s full of shit, lol. He’s not going to tell me anything nor am I really interested.

I wish I’d said more, but at this point, who even cares? This all happened a month ago now. I still have some more juice in my ignoremeter but, once that dries up, I’ll just go with the flow.

One thing is certain. This bus stop is closed. I have no idea why I’m referring to myself as a bus stop, but apparently, I am. LOL.

Thank you to anyone who’s been following this sorry saga. I blog about it for myself really, to make sense it all…. I’ll get back to you when that actually happens.

S.

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4 thoughts on “never smile

  1. Well I’m quite happy with how that conversation went.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL, I’m not. I let him off far too easily.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Lol console yourself with the thought that it could have gone South if you said anymore.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. I suppose so, although, I wouldn’t make a huge scene or anything like that.

        Liked by 2 people

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