still insecure

I have some good and bad news. 
The good news is that I went out sans make up on Tuesday and I didn’t erupt into flames. Hell, nobody called me ugly. I came and prospered. Further good news, I didn’t even see the guy I was supposedly wearing make up for, so. Anyway. 

Oh and I don’t think it was really about him to begin with. Huzzah. I did buy the foundation in a omg I’m inferior moment but I had it lying around for weeks before I even used it. 

*moonwalks*

The bad news is that the day after, I wanted to go for a simple make up look. Not that my face looked hideous on Tuesday, but I am so drained at the moment that it’s obvious. I look tired. 

My first mistake was applying concealer all over my damn face. That happened because I wanted to wear lipstick. Wearing lipstick means wearing concealer. I used to wear lipstick and not give a fuck but then I read somewhere that it looked tacky and now I give a fuck.

I need to go back to not giving a fuck. 

Second mistake? My eyebrows looked too good. I drew them on too well for that natural look to work. So I had to go dark. Dark eyeliner. Mascara. I should have just added foundation, but you know, wasn’t thinking. At all. 
Halfway into that routine, I realised that I was running late. 

I’ve now reached that point where I want to pack it all up and throw it away. I did just receive two lip liners and an eyeshadow pallette but I’m done. Ish. I have some pressed powder on my maybe list

I’ve finally put my finger on the real issue. Girl problems and Aunt Flo’s last visit. Since then I’ve been rocking the full make up look because I ‘didn’t like how my face looked’. It doesn’t look too bad, but girl problems come with facial decorations and I think that’s what’s happened here. ‘Cause that guy and his bullshit was waay before my latest make up craze. 

Not only that, I tend to have severe issues with esteem, productivity and basically everything when Aunt Flo’s visit is deceptively brief. I’ve been flat out exhausted for at least two weeks, partly due to the migraine and brain fog I had. 

It’s easy to see where OMG I LOOK TERRIBLE!! has factored in. I just wish I’d saved my time, energy and make up. I even carry blotting paper on me, like… really? Girl, please. Let your oily skin shine bright like a diamond. 

For now, I’m going to try and phase out the full face look and conceal where necessary. Under eyes. Forehead. Upper lip. Slap on some silver eyeliner, mascara, faint lipstick and boom. Done. If it takes longer than ten minutes, I’m doing too much. I’m going to start setting a timer. 

In the meantime, I have a few beauty products that I have run out of which I am going to buy or start using again. I’ve made my Vitamin E oil a regular night time thing and my charcoal face wash needs to boogie it’s way back into my life. 

It’s time to make my face great again. 

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