cutting people off

You know, I don’t think I’ve ever actively cut someone out of my life before. Usually it fizzles out. Or I try to and it blows up in my face. 

Anyway, I came across this on Pinterest…

Both are are interesting takes…

Personally, I usually try to resolve things, but the problem with that is people get very defensive or they refuse to acknowledge their behaviour. I’ve had conversations that go like this:

Me: I’m tired of you doing [this], please stop because it upsets me. 

Them: NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN, BYE. 

&

Me: I found what you said offensive

Them: I’m so sorry blah blah blah *proceeds to cut you off*

&

Me: I think we need to take a break from talking to each other

Them: OH MY GOSH, YOU ARE SO EVIL. 

&

Me: Why are you jerking me around?

Them: OHHHHH I HATE YOUR FRIEND!

Nine times of ten, the people you want or need to cut off are in that position because you cannot resolve things with them! Or you know that it will just take you back to the same point. 

I’d wager that the people who get cut off have some warning. In the cases where people have cut me off, they’ve become slow to respond or don’t at all. That’s cool. On the flip side, it is cruel to sort of cut someone off without telling them why. 

That being said…

These days, I’m all for giving people the same energy they give me. 

Anyway, I hate that I feel guilty for cutting off someone who truly deserves it. I’m hoping that I don’t let my emotions get the better of me. 

This is someone who’s never going to apologize because they feel like they’ve done nothing wrong. 

So, I’m setting the condition that they have to apologize for me to ever consider being cool with them. 

That way, I can feel like I’d be willing to meet them halfway, but I know that it won’t happen. 

What do you guys think? Is it better to talk things out instead of cutting someone off?

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5 thoughts on “cutting people off

  1. I guess it depends on the situation and what you feel is the best thing for yourself, whether others will nay say about it being the “wrong” decision or not.

    I have cut off someone before within the last year because I felt the person’s ideations for what he wanted from our friendship (which was entirely platonic) was not what I wanted to hear at the time. I was going through a rough patch of depression and maybe that influenced my perception of things. It felt like he was nitpicking at me and wanting me to be more present in socializing with him and honestly, being in the state I was in, those were the last things I wanted to hear.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, I’m sorry that you had to cut that guy off!

      I have absolutely no idea what is best. I know that at some point, it won’t even matter which is the frustrating part. I agree, lot of the times, the issue isn’t cutting someone off, it’s how you feel about it. Right now I feel shitty, but I think I’d feel shitty either way? I’m just coming up with ways to blame myself because that’s what I’m hardwired to do. Bleh.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I understand your dilemma, it’s going to be hard no matter what choice is made on your part. I guess one way to see it is that sh*t happens in life, lol. It sounds dumb but it seems no matter what happens in life and attempts made not to hurt others or get hurt yourself, it’s impossible to not have people walk away unscathed or unaffected from it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s true. I think sometimes you have to factor in different aspects that may seem black and white to others, but in reality they’re not.

        Right now, I seem to be holding off from cutting DD off. Mostly because it was stressing me out to the point where I was like ‘it would be easier if I was truly ready to do it.’ However, that doesn’t mean we need to be BFFs or even talk. That’s an easier compromise for me and I guess that’s like. Shit happens and you get on with it.

        Although, it’s very much a giving him an inch while he takes a mile situation. When I broke the silence today he was all smiles, but by the end of it he had somehow managed to cross a line. However, I think in this case, I’m just not going to react anymore or analyse everything, lol.

        Like

  2. I agree that usually the cutting off happens after trying to resolve. I suck at cutting people off because I always want to know why something is happening. It makes me beat the situation to death if I don’t get any sort of explanation or cooperation. I’ve been on the other end of this more, though — I’m the one being cut off. If I know why, then fine. Go away. But the ones who disappear and I had no idea it was coming… it was totally out of the blue? That annoys the hell out of me. At least tell me what happened. Jerks.

    Like

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