Awkward Situations, Life

Getting Caught Up In My Own Weirdness

This is me in a nutshell, although sometimes I think life would be easier if I was normal. Sometimes I get so caught up in the weirdness that I can feel the point at which it goes from being funny to ‘omg can this girl shut the fk up’. 

So, I’m going to give my long suffering break and bring the weirdness here for a bit. I will give you guys a daily log of weirdness. I’m serious. Or we can just file it under Random Thoughts like I’ve been doing? Yeah, that’s better. Anyway. Bye!

Awkward Situations

This is why I don’t listen to anyone



This is so true. There was a situation at work before, and I was supposed to train someone but my coworker just steamrolled past me and did all of the talking. It was really frustrating but I’m used to it. 

I think I’ve done the most talking in my life within the past six months due to work. There are some people who you can have a decent conversation with but often, it’s a fucking nightmare. 

Gets ignored

This usually happens when a one on one conversation becomes a three way conversation and I’m left standing there like a mannequin with a talk button. Eventually I become silent until I can slowly fade away, like Sean Spicer retreating into the bushes. 

Gets interrupted

Every. Time. Every. Single. Damn. Time

Gets talked over 

Don’t mind me, I was just responding to the last fucking thing that you said.

No one pays attention

Hence why I just talk to myself. I don’t care if it’s weird. I DO WHAT I WANT. 

No one cares

*Kanye shrug*

Awkward Situations, Bitchin', Life

5 Unexpected Life Lessons

Well, they’re not unexpected but it made for a catchier title. Sorry*.

1. Apologies don’t really mean much. 
(*I wasn’t sorry.)

Look, I’ll be the first to admit that I have warped views on apologies. I’m sensitive in certain situations and I know that what I feel is wrong might be okay to someone else. That’s because they’re an idiot and I’m civilised, but whatever, I’m not sweating on that.  That being said, people forcing me to apologize or forcing someone to apologize doesn’t sit right with me. It’s false and doesn’t hold much weight. I learnt this when I realised that someone’s apology meant little to me because of how they reacted after the incident. An apology should be a formality and not a battle. A simple acceptance that wrong has been committed and not I’m sorry that you felt way. Approximately one year ago, my good friend said something that I’ll probably never truly forgive her for. I’m over it, but for myself. I used to think that I caused the situation but meh. I didn’t.  Continue reading “5 Unexpected Life Lessons”

Awkward Situations, Life, Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts #13

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You know what, I don’t need any peach inspired nightmares tonight

I uttered this upon preparing to watch a story by my favourite narcissist person on Instagram. I may not have learned my lesson, but I’d like a nightmare free weekend!

Also, I need to chill on Instagram. I’m not on it 24/7 by any means, but there’s still something about it that makes me feel uncomfortable. Almost like I’m a hipster with hipster amnesia who’s forgotten that Instagram is beneath me (obv that’s an analogy ’cause hipsters embraced Instagram years before the rest of us. Duh!).

That being said I’m going to have to wean myself off it slowly. Cold turkey never works for me. Le sigh. 

Awkward Situations, Life

Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare…

Who am I kidding? 

That’s a cute kitty but there was nothing cute about this. 

It was a fucked up nightmare and a bizarre dream. 

Let me start from the beginning. You know how I am casually reacquainting myself with Instagram, and that there’s one user in particular who seems to have caught my attention. We’ll call this person… Bob. Anyway, Bob popped up in my dream. 

Act One was [redacted]. 

Yeah, it was that bad. 

Act Two was even stranger. There was a wedding (I wrote a post about weddings), I was at work (I just went back to work) and Bob was in it. There was a lot of weirdness that I won’t even go into. 

At that point, I knew I was in too deep. The only option was to avoid Instagram, right?

Wrong, I went even further. In my defense, I was sleepy and high on sugar but you know, it happened and Bob is always happy to provide material. 

Somehow Bob evaded my dream but the dream I had was even more fucked up. Basically, there was this guy who wouldn’t leave me alone. He kept begging me to give him the time of day and I was not feeling it at all. Each time he got more aggressive until the last time when his mother showed up to ask me what was wrong with her darling son. 

What. The. Fuck. 

I would have taken a weird Bob dream over that garish nightmare. 

I’m going to look at pictures of flowers and bunnies before I sleep tonight. 

What could go wrong?
A to Z Challenge 2017, Awkward Situations

ugly days – #AtoZChallenge

So, I decided to go make up free this week. By make up I mean eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, brow pencil and lipstick (although I wore lip gloss instead).

Monday, I looked disastrous. My hair is long overdue a spruce up so I’ve just been tying a scarf on it but it looks awful. Plus I was running late so I looked like a hot mess.

Tuesday, more of the same.

By Wednesday, I was avoiding looking at myself in the mirror.

I ditched concealer and foundation because it was getting too much and they’re not good for my skin, but sometimes I just always feel so self conscious without anything on my face. I call these instances my ugly days. Usually on those days, the make up goes on, but I wanted to air out my face this week. Plus, my eyes watered for about fifteen minutes straight in public so in a way, I’m glad that I held my resolve. Continue reading “ugly days – #AtoZChallenge”

A to Z Challenge 2017, Awkward Situations

telephone – #AtoZChallenge

I hate phone calls. 

In fact, the last conversation I had with a friend was in December and it was awkward. 

If we’re not related, I don’t want to talk on the phone. I don’t like doing official business on the phone. If there’s no email option, I will avoid it. I hate calling helplines or work. Anywhere. I will hunt down your email the way James Bond hunts down the bad guys. 

I hate voicemail. 

I hate phone calls. 

Why do I hate them? I’m not sure. I remember in the past I’d talk to my friends all of time via phone. But maybe that’s it. When you’re a teenager, the most important call you make is to your parents when you’ve broken your curfew. By the time you reach university age, you’re making more serious phone calls. And by the time I was that age, I was an anxious wreck who could barely talk to people. I spent three years at a place where I never fit in and I didn’t communicate much. So, by the time I left, talking was an issue. Talking with people I didn’t know was a mountain of issues. 

I’m not sure when I realised that I didn’t like phone calls. For one, I’m too quiet on the phone. Mostly because I feel like I’m yelling if I raise my voice. So that leads to people not being able to hear and then I have to repeat myself and it becomes old very fast. It’s exhausting. 

The worst part is the period before the phone call. I will be sweating. Writing my script. Panicking. Trying to compose myself and just getting into such a state that I convince myself that I can’t do it. 

Awful.

It’s almost like I’m worried that people will judge me via the phone, or that I’m going to say something stupid and it’ll forever be in the airwaves. I can’t really explain it because when I eventually man up and make the call it’s fine. The panic melts away and the phone doesn’t erupt into a ball of flames. And then I feel stupid for worrying at all. 

Anxiety is a bitch, y’all.