Awkward Situations

This is why I don’t listen to anyone



This is so true. There was a situation at work before, and I was supposed to train someone but my coworker just steamrolled past me and did all of the talking. It was really frustrating but I’m used to it. 

I think I’ve done the most talking in my life within the past six months due to work. There are some people who you can have a decent conversation with but often, it’s a fucking nightmare. 

Gets ignored

This usually happens when a one on one conversation becomes a three way conversation and I’m left standing there like a mannequin with a talk button. Eventually I become silent until I can slowly fade away, like Sean Spicer retreating into the bushes. 

Gets interrupted

Every. Time. Every. Single. Damn. Time

Gets talked over 

Don’t mind me, I was just responding to the last fucking thing that you said.

No one pays attention

Hence why I just talk to myself. I don’t care if it’s weird. I DO WHAT I WANT. 

No one cares

*Kanye shrug*

Life, Random Thoughts

Honour Your Pace

Don’t compare yourself to others

I always tell people not to compare themselves to others. In fact, I tell people so many things that are reasonable and true but often, I forget to tell them to myself. 

For instance, I do this [indirectly compare myself to others] everyday. Part of it is someone else constantly comparing me to other people and the rest is myself. I wonder why this person’s writing has more comments than mine, I wonder what I’m doing wrong. I wonder why everyone always seems to have a lot to do when I have nothing to do. The thing is that I don’t care. I mean, I care about feedback but not enough for it to dictate how and when or if I write, and what people do has nothing to do with me. It’s their life. I can’t force people to like my work. I can’t force anything. 

However, we live in a world that’s competitive by nature. We fight for everything. Jobs, people, that last discounted bread roll (for real, one old dude almost sent me flying a few weeks back. Over bread!). 

Comparison is going to happen, it’s what you do with it that counts. 

You either realise that you’re not going to be that person and that you have no idea what they’ve done to get where they are or if what you see is real at all or you drive yourself mad trying to emulate an instance. We all provide everyone with a snapshot of our lives. 

Do you really want to compare yourself to one page of an entire book? Nope.

So, like I always say, fuck everyone else and focus on getting what you want in life. 

The irony of me writing this post is not lost on me but I’m hoping that I can come back and read this and enlighten myself. I’m much better at helping other people than I am at helping myself. Not sure why, but what can you do? 

You’ve just gotta honour your pace. 

Awkward Situations, Bitchin', Life

5 Unexpected Life Lessons

Well, they’re not unexpected but it made for a catchier title. Sorry*.

1. Apologies don’t really mean much. 
(*I wasn’t sorry.)

Look, I’ll be the first to admit that I have warped views on apologies. I’m sensitive in certain situations and I know that what I feel is wrong might be okay to someone else. That’s because they’re an idiot and I’m civilised, but whatever, I’m not sweating on that.  That being said, people forcing me to apologize or forcing someone to apologize doesn’t sit right with me. It’s false and doesn’t hold much weight. I learnt this when I realised that someone’s apology meant little to me because of how they reacted after the incident. An apology should be a formality and not a battle. A simple acceptance that wrong has been committed and not I’m sorry that you felt way. Approximately one year ago, my good friend said something that I’ll probably never truly forgive her for. I’m over it, but for myself. I used to think that I caused the situation but meh. I didn’t.  Continue reading “5 Unexpected Life Lessons”

writing

Trapped

This is a short story I wrote yesterday after my friend told me to. Yes, I do as I’m told. Sometimes.  

Her prompt was: It’s raining here – write about a spirit trapped in the fountain at the center of the Plaza breaking loose.

~

I’m not sure who I am or what I am, but I do know that I’ve been trapped in this fountain at the center of the Plaza for a long time. I’ve seen people come ago, I’ve seen fashion trends that overstayed their welcome. I’ve even seen Hollywood’s latest starlet puking her guts up. For the most part, I observe. Occasionally I wonder if I have a moral compass. I snicker whenever I see someone trip over some wayward pebbles and commiserate whenever another jackass picks this fountain as their breakup spot. 

It’s never really been an issue because I’m trapped here. I’ve never really considered what it would like to be free. 

Would I wreak havoc on those that deserve it or would I drift through streets and try to explore what’s out there. I may see a lot from my fountain, but my view is narrow. Perhaps that means that I never see the full picture. Again, that’s something that’s never piqued my interest until now.

Now, I’m free.

I don’t know how it happened. One minute the fountain was spluttering violently, raindrops crashing into the water in a staccato beat. The next, I was transcending above it. It was surreal to say the least.

I’m not sure what abilities I have if any, but I try my luck in directing the rain towards a woman feeling from the downpour. The water crashes into her and sends her skidding into a huge puddle. She stops and turns around with an accusatory expression but she’s forced to carried on when there’s no one there. I let out a whoop of glee, although it sounds more like a hoarse whistle.

I begin to glide through the streets, passing numerous shop windows.

I have no sense of time but I guess that it’s around mid afternoon. The stores are beginning to get busy, either with patrons escaping the poor weather or college students with nothing better to do.

It’s then that the thought hits me. What if there was a way that I could experience that. Life. Not as whatever I was but as a human. I wasn’t sure how that would be possible, but I wasn’t going to change my mind either. I just had to choose a vessel to occupy.

I continue to venture down the street and by some miracle, the rain subsidss. I wait momentarily to see if I will suddenly re-emerge in the fountain, but nothing happens. Within the hour people begin to stream back outside. There are young mothers with their screaming toddlers, giggling teenagers who seem to possess more energy than everyone else combined, and their wearier parent. There are hipster millennials who had an affinity for flower garlands, the young men who are adorned in baseball caps and tight jeans. And one ghastly individual with a fedora,but none of them catch my eye.

At least not until I came across a gentleman who seemed to be posing for the same shot repeatedly. I paused, suddenly fascinated by both the vanity and technology. My spot in the fountain exposed me to countless types, from the Polaroid to the digital camera and the flip phones. However, I wasn’t as prominently featured in images before the rise of smartphones. The bright shiny object that this gentlemen was poring over now.

A woman walks past and mutters something along the lines of, “There goes another narcisstic selfie.” She trundles away with a disgruntled sigh and I turn back to the gentleman. He’s posing for another shot, but I’m not entirely sure what he’s trying to capture. The surroundings or himself.

Even so, I’m intrigued. I decide that this will be my vessel. I close my (figurative) eyes and take a (yet another figurative) breath before I launch myself forward and hope for the best.

Awkward Situations, Life, Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts #13

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You know what, I don’t need any peach inspired nightmares tonight

I uttered this upon preparing to watch a story by my favourite narcissist person on Instagram. I may not have learned my lesson, but I’d like a nightmare free weekend!

Also, I need to chill on Instagram. I’m not on it 24/7 by any means, but there’s still something about it that makes me feel uncomfortable. Almost like I’m a hipster with hipster amnesia who’s forgotten that Instagram is beneath me (obv that’s an analogy ’cause hipsters embraced Instagram years before the rest of us. Duh!).

That being said I’m going to have to wean myself off it slowly. Cold turkey never works for me. Le sigh.