the quietest person

So, I was at work when someone turned to me and we had this exchange:

Person: Snark, you are the quietest person I’ve ever met in my life

Me: [laughs] I’m tired…[not today, please, not today]

Person: You’re so quiet! I can’t work in silence!

Me: Oh, really?

Person: Yeah, silence gives me a headache

Me: [that explains a lot…]

I had the same conversation with the same person a few weeks ago. I think people look at me talking to other people and then feel some kind of way when I say nothing to them. 

I mean, yeah, I am very quiet. If I don’t really know you, I won’t say much to you. It’s part of my social anxiety. Or maybe it’s just me. Luckily for me, I’m used to being told that I’m quiet and I’m used to people thinking I’m kind of strange. 

I don’t think anyone is quiet on purpose. I get lost in my head a lot and often, people have to repeat themselves for me to even engage in a conversation. I’ve actually picked up this habit of repeating stuff back just to give myself time to get back in the present and to cover up any awkward silence.

That’s just me, though. Either I know you and we’re cool or I don’t really know you and we’re on a hi/bye basis. I hope that people don’t take it personally. I sometimes can tell that people think I’m maybe kind of stuck up. Like, I’m too good to talk to them, but I’m not. If someone says something to me, I’ll talk back. I’m just not good at initiating conversation unless I really have something to say. 

This is mostly because sometimes when I start talking, I feel like the other person just wants me to shut up. And then I get nervous and keep going, and I hate myself after and replay it over and over and over and over and over. 

So, it’s easier just to say nothing. 

That’s me.

[pictures from Pinterest]

my eyes are shady | Random Thoughts #35

9th August 

I start work in four hours and I’ve slept for about three hours. I’ve been up doing…God knows what for three hours. Reading. Reading stuff I’ve read many times before. I’m nuts. I don’t know what I was doing. 

Anyway, I have a raging headache and need to nap so obviously, I turned to Bob and his brand of boredom. 

  1. “It’s good to be back in the car that you’re comfortable in,” he says, after informing us that he got a lollipop while picking it up from the shop. I snorted and rolled my eyes. Receiving a lollipop is an Instamoment now. Go figure.
  2. He’s talking about how it’s a beautiful day and he’s driving but..I have no idea why he’s not focusing on the road. It’s this kind of nonsense that keeps me off the road. I’ll say more on this below. 
  3. Before clicking on the third video I thought, ‘Dear God, put your hat back on,’ but you know, I’m the Queen of Messy Hair ™ so I take it back. I can’t hear what he’s saying because he has music playing. While posting to Insta. Dude. Get your life together, please. Or turn it down. #GrandmaAtHeart
  4. Bob with a cute kitty. I was too busy awwing to have a snarky thought, but my eye is watering randomly, so there’s that. My eyes are shaaaady. 
  5. His animal baby talk leaves a lot to be desired, he really should just mute it. I felt queasy listening to it. The cat is super cute, though. 

Fucked up shit that I read about this week:

  • Psychotic jogger who pushed a woman into the path of a bus
  • Live stream murder – the 18 year old who killed her sister after crashing her car while livestreaming. She continued to live stream the aftermath and broadcasted her dead sister for all to see.

– Joggers are fucking nuts. The worst ones are those that insist on jogging on a crowded street and then get pissed off when people have the audacity to walk. Go somewhere else. 

– Posting videos while driving is something I don’t get. Bob used to do it a lot, and I was even commending him in my head for stopping (although, I don’t watch half of his videos so….), when I saw these ones and I was like… oh. I guess so long as the phone is in a holder and the driver isn’t impaired it’s not going to be a big issue but a second is all it takes. If I got into a car and saw someone doing that, I wouldn’t go anywhere with them. 

Anyway, never got around to that nap. Fuck everything. It’s now 03:28 and I’m trying to work on my job application (see previous post). I fell asleep for about an hour or so. I look awful. My eyes are red. I look like a zombie. My head. Oh, my head. 

Imma close out with some Daria (I’m on a 90s TV show kick right now! I will do a post on the other blog about it). 

the end is nigh for the star of random thoughts by a bitchy blogger

Today (or yesterday for me) was so awful that you get this post about Bob. I’m not even going to call it Random Thoughts, it’s just…Bobservations

So, after his little snarky remark about someone running, Bob had that live thing on Instagram, but I didn’t watch it. However, later, I was told what was in it. 

You know how I said he was on a TV show and not even the hottest guy on the show? Well, he’s not coming back to the show. I still think he’s a douche once removed, but the news kind of broke my heart for ten minutes. At first I was sad for myself (who am I going to mock now?), and then I was sad for him, and then I was sad for the fans (some of them are piiiiiissed). 

Personally, he could be on the show or not on it and it doesn’t really affect me, but a lot of people kind of wanted to see him back. I’d like to see him back but you know, it is what it is. I’d like to be a billionaire, but I’m not. That’s life. 

Bob still has his Instagram (where he can get all the love and validation he so clearly needs) and whatever is keeping him from the show. He will survive, even if he’s petrified at first. 

Anyway, now that he’s not coming back, I have no real reason to follow him. So… this might be the end of Bob. He might get cancelled twice. Not that me snarking about him counts. He can’t add that to his IMDB. Star of ‘Random Thoughts’ by a bitchy blogger on WordPress. Lol!

Continue reading “the end is nigh for the star of random thoughts by a bitchy blogger

#SoCS/Random Thoughts #34

This week has flown by. I’m so happy for that. So very very happy.

I don’t have much to say.

I have been starving all week. I’m talking seriously about to eat a yogurt at 3am hunger. I’m craving sugar, chocolate and my bubblemint gum isn’t helping matters. I’m hungry!

Now, fast speed of the week aside…

Life has been kicking me in the butt this week. I managed to scratch myself while using Vaseline on my legs. How, you ask? Well, your guess is as good as mine. One minute I’m rubbing it on and the next, there’s a weird pale mark on my leg and oh shit is that skin on my nail? After that the bleeding started and I had to clean it up and find a plaster and all of the fun stuff that comes with that.

Fast forward to the day before that or thereabouts and your girl got onto the wrong escalators and didn’t realise. After a few heart stopping moments, I managed to scramble back up and find the right one. I my defence, they pulled the old switcheroo on me, but it wasn’t my finest moment.

I’ve also managed to walk into several things and poke myself in the eye.

I lead a very dangerous (and clumsy) life. 

Continue reading “#SoCS/Random Thoughts #34”

an injection of fun ^_^ | Random Thoughts #29.5

Originally this wasn’t Random Thoughts, until it ended up being very random. So it’s #29.5 because I have already started writing #30. 

Yeah, I don’t get it either. 

I sit down to write posts and sad words always come out. At least my other blog lives up to its snarky name, this one? No. Originally, I created this blog because I was posting too much random shit on my main blog. I have around about the same followers on both now (let’s just say that I’m really not that popular), so at this point, I’m chatting rubbish to an equal amount of people. That’s okay. 

What this place needs is an injection of fun. I can do fun. I find random shit funny all the time. I’m always laughing. I’m hilarious. Alright, scratch the last one, I’ll leave the arrogance to the blowhards.  Anyway, how can I make this blog fun. 

Let’s see. 

There’s a random Happy Endings quote. That’s fun, right? 

What else…

Another one. Still fun!

I still miss Happy Endings. That show was there for me through some hard times. 

Man, what else? Maybe we should leave the fun for supernaturalsnark? I wanted to write a post about Usher and his nasty herpes transmitting ass. Not judging anyone with herpes, but I’ll judge you for getting busy without letting people know. That’s plain nasty. Usher ain’t worth more words than that. I have to delete his song ‘Dive’ from my phone. I can’t. I just can’t. 

Just thinking about it has me like this:

Enough about STDs and back to the fun. 

I need this t-shirt. And maybe one of these. I’ve lost count of the number of times people have told me that I look angry and my reaction is actually I feel great today! I think the problem is that I daydream A LOT. It’s a bad habit of mine. I get so lost in thought that my face just gets all screwed up and I look angry. My real angry face is funny as fuck. It’s like a scrunched up turnip. 

Puns are always fun! 

YES. This is so me. I’m partial to the odd f-bomb or twenty, but they just spill out at work. I need to work on reforming myself. When I was a kid I never used to swear. I find that it comes as you get older and realise what a steaming pile of shit life really is. Even in writing, I find myself swearing like a bad habit. Usually I catch myself doing it and take out the really unnecessary ones, but it’s kind of funny to ctrl+f fucking.

Anyway, I hope there was at least ONE amusing thing in this post! 😉

shut up and drink your tea | Random Thoughts #27

Our first (not so random) thought is:

He has problems

Obviously this was my response to Bob this week. He posted some clip from movie with Jason Isaacs, who had some kind of drill attached to some dude’s mouth and I don’t even know. There was blood involved and I had to turn my phone away. I guess it was a horror movie [looked it up, it was A Cure For Wellness] of some sort.

In the next clip, Bob is sarcastically (at least that’s how I took it) saying that the movie had ‘fucking amazing cinematography’ and that he hoped we enjoyed that. I had to turn my phone away, bro. Fuck you. I seemed to move on though, because next he had a picture of his shoes which were cool. I would screenshot them, but yeah, Bob shall remain anonymous. Sort of anonymous. I would feel bad if he ever knew that I have dedicated multiple posts to mocking him. LOL. 

It would be hilarious, though. I’m mean that way. 😝

That bird is definitely about to poop on someone

This bird flew over me and made a nose that souned like an evil cackle. I kid you not. I was just laughing to myself. It sounded way too pleased with itself. I could just tell it was about to wreak havoc on someone. I’m glad that it wasn’t me. 

Pain, pain, go away

Everything hurts. Legs. Back. Arms. Wrists. Everything. I think it’s a result of going back to work after nine days off (woo!). This is how I used to feel the day after PE class but ten times worse. I’m guessing I have muscle sprains and strains. I am finally taking meds for it. Last week Aunt Flo was in town and I don’t like taking medication for that. This week… bleh. I need a new job. 

What the fuck do I do with it?

I have no idea what this thought was about but I’m sure I ask this question at least ten times a day. 

Obviously you do care!

Bob again. I was waiting for the kettle to boil so I checked out his story. 

Bob started off by saying that this is what his mornings look like. There was some serious bedhead, but the artfully tousled kind and not my kind where my hair is a bush and there’s crust on my eyes (but, hey, I’m sexy too! Just ask my postman). Anyway, after that he drinks his tea and he says that during this time he likes to look at his Instafeed. Okaaaay.

What he said next had me like….

He goes into this rant about how he has noticed that companies and certain people buy likes and followers which is stupid and wrong. He says that companies would probably deny it if asked but ‘he doesn’t care’ it’s up to them to do what they want. And THEN, he was like ‘it’s kind of narcissistic. It’s narcissism.’

I was LAUGHING SO HARD. 

Bob, you’re straight done. 

1. Huge difference between narcissism and deception. Buying followers and likes isn’t narcissism, it’s just dishonest and designed to deceive. 

2. Bob, brother, if we’re talking about actual narcissism, you’re part of the problem. Every picture on your feed is of YOURSELF! 

3. Shut up and drink your tea, Bob.

Anyway, I guess halfway through he decided to ‘act’ and jokingly tell someone to shut the fuck up because his story is way more important than theirs. By that point, I was convinced that the whole thing was some kind of spoof. I’m still not sure that I didn’t imagine it all. 

Either way, thanks for the laugh, Bob!

His cute friend made an appearance today…He was doing ‘curls for the girls’ as Bob put it. I think I’d probably punch Bob in the face if we were friends. I was contemplating following him [Bob’s cute friend], but I got thinking about how much room for stupidity I have left in my life. Work takes up most of the quota. Bob takes up a fair amount also. Hard pass. 

Also, they were at the gym which really annoys me. Part of why I’m too afraid (okay, so maybe I’m lazy) to go to the gym is all of this Snapchat and live video nonsense. Is nothing and nowhere sacred anymore?? I ended up in a Twitter video today, smh. Nothing special but still. Can you not?

Complete and utter madness

Everyone at my job is incompetent bar a few people. That’s all. 

I’m officially doing too much

Can someone PLEASE schedule my Bob intervention? Some of the bullshit he posts just makes my head hurt. I’ve also figured out how to save people’s stories (why? Every second I miss from Bob is a blessing!). 

I need help, guys. Please help me.