I’m not weird

Screw that, I’m weird and I own it. 

Today was my first day off since February and it was disrupted. Every time it’s something, but whatever, at least I got a three day weekend. I’m hoping to have five days off towards the end of the month but if it wasn’t for my hair (I need a month to sort this mane out, let alone five days), I’d cancel them. I’d rather work for my money than sit at home and feel like I can’t relax. I haven’t had the mental peace that I need.

I need my mental peace badly. There’s only so much that coffee can do. 

I did do some journalling but the good that did rubbed off after a while. 

Anyway, I signed into Instagram for the first time in four years. Crazy. I spent most of my time deleting pictures. Mostly anything stupid and the one with my real name on it, as well as the one picture of myself. I wanted to delete everything but I figured I’d just leave it. It’s a nice mixture of random and liberal use of filters and I’m only on there to follow one person really (and when I’m over that, my ass is hopping off the ‘gram).

I am really resistant about using social media sites that actively encourage me to want to broadcast every single aspect of my life just because I feel like I need to, you know? If I think other people’s posts are fucking asinine (so so many, man, can you guys just buy a diary or scrapbook?) then mine are probably ten times worse. I’d rather buy a diary. Or a scrapbook. 

Just looking at Instagram made me feel very weird and uncomfortable. Click on the wrong place and you end up on all the celebrity posts and… Fuck that noise. My life is hard enough without having to wonder what editing software Selena Gomez is using to make herself look good. Not that I’d ever follow Selena Gomez. That is just an example. I have no idea what she does apart from sing songs that I thankfully do not hear. I’m sure she’s great. 

Anyway, yeah, everyone’s lives look so perfect on there. She’s posing in front of an amazing looking tree and he’s artfully posing in front of a panda or whatever. They’re all gathered together with Stepford smiles. Good for them but I don’t care enough to keep up with some kind of magazine special of people’s lives. 

Twitter is as stupid as ever, same vapidness and general narcissism but at least there’s some worldly conversation if you look in the right places. 

Snapchat. Ugh. 

I don’t even bother with Facebook these days. The energy it requires is too much. I’ve used it so sporadically since 2012 that my On This Day is often blank, lol. 

There’s no way any of this shit is good for anyone but Silicon Valley billionaires. 

Ah, well. 

That was my day. I hope everyone had a better day. 🙂


How are you, really? And nine other questions 

How are you, really?

Tired. Right now I’m tired of politicians. They all suck. Anyone that wants to have power should be scrutinised. 

How do you feel right now?

Not great. I have a million and one things to do but my bed comes first. We belong together. When I’m not with it I lose a part of me. 

What are you thinking about?

My back because it hurts. Also my blog because I have no idea what to write these days. 

What’s your favorite color?


What’s your favorite food?


What’s your favorite dessert?

Uhm. Chocolate? 

How old are you?

21 + x = A lady never tells. 

What have you learned today?

That most of us will always be under-appreciated in life. And that people suck. I already knew that last one but it is always an important lesson to learn and remember.

What was your favorite subject in school?

English. Maths was a close second.  

What do you do?

I do a lot of things. Right now I’m being evasive. 

Awkward Situations, Life

The calm before the storm

Or rather it’s not. But it is. I’m in a really weird hyperactive mood at the moment.
I’m talkative, I’m bouncy, I’m restless, I’m getting my Type A personality on even though I’m so Type B it hurts. 

I’m anxious. I can’t sleep, I’m barely eating, I’m not even attempting to meet deadlines, I’m just all over the place both physically and mentally. 

That’s probably due to work. I’m doing a lot on my own right now due to the holiday period and I’m just not feeling it. I’m just bored. And my ability to focus has a status that reads Last Seen: last week. I just can’t. I’m like a cow on a roller coaster. All over the place and in one place all at once. 

To feel focused would require energy and I seem to be expelling that at an alarming rate. I have to force myself to keep going.

My brain is just jumping at a million miles a minute and I can barely think. In essence, I need to calm the fuck down. If only because I know what comes next.

The storm. Or PMS. This has leading to PMS blues all over it. I’m not ready for that right now. 

Or any other shade of blue for that matter. 

I just need my brain to get with the program. 

Written in response to  Calm


October Writing Challenge – #1 – 15 Interesting Facts About Myself

I came across Growing Spangs’ October Writing Challenge and thought that I’d give it a try! I probably won’t do all of them, but we’ll see.

October Writing Challenge! Follow GrowingSpangs on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest, and they will follow you back in October 2016!

15 Interesting Facts About Myself

1. I don’t think I’m particularly interesting. Which I guess is sort of contradictory given that I’m about to list 14 more reasons why I am, but there you have it.

2. I am an introvert. I am sure there are some introverts with exciting lives out there, but mine is pretty boring. The one good thing about being an introvert is that often people aren’t aware that I’m there, so I get a lot of juicy secondhand gossip, advice, tips, entertainment. It’s awesome.

3. I love to write. I will write my novel one day. It’ll probably be about a talking inanimate object but I WILL write it. I am thinking of doing NaNoWriMo this year. I always want to do it but I put it off but…maybe this is the year? Who knows. Continue reading “October Writing Challenge – #1 – 15 Interesting Facts About Myself”