Life

Forward is forward

Your speed doesn’t matter, forward is forward

I like this saying. I think it’s natural to want to catapult your way to success or whatever achievement you’re after, but mine times out of ten, it takes time. So much time. And sometimes progress is so fleeting that it feels like you’re going backwards. 

I have a habit of standing still because it’s better than dealing with the disappointment but… I’m going to try and shake myself out of that rut. 

This is a response to: CatapultDaily Prompt

Bitchin'

One Liner Wednesday – an overwhelming urge to run away


This is my entry for One Liner Wednesday.

Someone posted a video of their pedicure (is this a thing that people do now? Why?) and their rampant need for attention aside, I DO NOT LIKE FEET. AT ALL. I don’t like open shoes. I don’t like sandals. I don’t even like peep toe shoes. Anything that shows any part of the foot (specifically the toes and heel) is off limits. I hate the sound of feet slapping in shoes. I just hate feet. So you can imagine what happened when I unknowingly clicked onto this video. I was not happy. I literally almost unfollowed them because I hate feet that much. I’m glad they’re getting their feet together because messed up gnarly feet are the worst but they need to do it far away from where I can see.
SHUDDER. 

Awkward Situations, Life

Getting Caught Up In My Own Weirdness

This is me in a nutshell, although sometimes I think life would be easier if I was normal. Sometimes I get so caught up in the weirdness that I can feel the point at which it goes from being funny to ‘omg can this girl shut the fk up’. 

So, I’m going to give my long suffering break and bring the weirdness here for a bit. I will give you guys a daily log of weirdness. I’m serious. Or we can just file it under Random Thoughts like I’ve been doing? Yeah, that’s better. Anyway. Bye!

Life

Dear Self…

I can’t seem to shake my awful mood so I’m turning to snark. Self-snark. Random snark. Whatever works. 
First of all:

Fuck that, self, you need to calm down and read the letter below. 

Dear Self,

Today has been a shit week for various reasons, none of which you know. Monday was the beginning. Getting up was hard. Like, just stay in bed and never ever leave it again hard. You know from doing this that this is the best way to make things worse, so you got up. Went to work. Work was shit, but that’s a given anyway. 

Anyway, self, let’s try and focus on the positives. 

Which are…. well, I can’t think of any right now but they must exist. They must. 

Or maybe they don’t. 

Even so, nothing good comes out of feeling like crap, or feeling miserable and I know that people will say, feel how you feel, but we don’t want to do that self. We want to feel better. 

So, take whatever it is that makes you feel better for even a nanosecond and amplify that. Make that rainbow burst into a pot of gold, or something far more realistic like eating a carton of ice cream. Distract yourself, and don’t let this shitty mood get you too down. 

Draw cartoon characters, write. Write, write and write more because that’s what you’re kind of good at. The drawing is hit and miss. You’re too lazy to get better at it, so just stick to what you know. Or don’t. Who cares?

Stay away from social media because let’s be real, it causes enough issues for you without the depressed mood. Just one perfectly fine picture of pasta is enough to have you feeling like a failure for not being able to serve food prettily. 

Once again, fuck that. 

And while we’re at it, I know that you’re mostly joking about being hermit but can you not? We need people to buy us nice gifts and to talk to and stuff. Mostly gifts because buying stuff for yourself? Is only fun when you’ve got the money and we definitely don’t have the money, self. 

So yeah, self, get your shit together and feel shitty but also be thankful for where you are today. Even if people try to put you down, wait for them to turn around and then give them the finger. It’ll make you feel better and that’s what we need. 

Lots of love and teeny bit of irritation,

Your snarky self. 

Life

It’s been one of those weeks…

I’m not in a complete state of apathy but I’m close. I just can’t be bothered anymore. I have no motivation, no drive, no energy, just a lingering sense of discomfort. 

I have emails to reply, but they lie in wait for months at a time. 

I have comments, but I can’t even bring myself to load the page. 

Text messages, I can just about stomach. 

I have writing to do, but that’s a whole other post. 

I have things that I need to do for myself, but what’s the point? 

Everything else? Fuck it. 

It is possible that I need to stop watching a TV show that is literally just about murder. There are too many fucked up people in the world damn. 

Trust no one. Become a hermit. Never leave your house. Quadruple lock the doors. That’s basically the message I get from True Crime shows. 

The news is another area that’s just utterly depressing. Sometimes it’s hard to get up and see any positives. I see people posting about enjoying life and I’m wondering how are you not shitting your pants right now? Every day, there’s something more messed up in the news. It’s crazy. 

Anyway, yeah, I’m in a weird mood and my dinner is about as appealing as sharing an elevator with a skunk. So, I wrote this instead. 

Life, Random Thoughts

Honour Your Pace

Don’t compare yourself to others

I always tell people not to compare themselves to others. In fact, I tell people so many things that are reasonable and true but often, I forget to tell them to myself. 

For instance, I do this [indirectly compare myself to others] everyday. Part of it is someone else constantly comparing me to other people and the rest is myself. I wonder why this person’s writing has more comments than mine, I wonder what I’m doing wrong. I wonder why everyone always seems to have a lot to do when I have nothing to do. The thing is that I don’t care. I mean, I care about feedback but not enough for it to dictate how and when or if I write, and what people do has nothing to do with me. It’s their life. I can’t force people to like my work. I can’t force anything. 

However, we live in a world that’s competitive by nature. We fight for everything. Jobs, people, that last discounted bread roll (for real, one old dude almost sent me flying a few weeks back. Over bread!). 

Comparison is going to happen, it’s what you do with it that counts. 

You either realise that you’re not going to be that person and that you have no idea what they’ve done to get where they are or if what you see is real at all or you drive yourself mad trying to emulate an instance. We all provide everyone with a snapshot of our lives. 

Do you really want to compare yourself to one page of an entire book? Nope.

So, like I always say, fuck everyone else and focus on getting what you want in life. 

The irony of me writing this post is not lost on me but I’m hoping that I can come back and read this and enlighten myself. I’m much better at helping other people than I am at helping myself. Not sure why, but what can you do? 

You’ve just gotta honour your pace.