Life

One-Liner Wednesday – Trends come and go…

The truth about conformity, is it bites without a sting
Trends come and go, but when you’re alone it doesn’t mean a thing

I always champion being a trend setter instead of a trend follower. It’s cheaper, less stressful and you don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself to other people.


This my entry for this week’s One-Liner Wednesday. Deets are here.

Awkward Situations, Bitchin', Life

Don’t think that you’re so great (1)

Today, or well yesterday and today because I am well versed in dysfunctionality, has been interesting.

I tried to stand up for myself.

In my life, that’s a rare occurrence.

I panicked over it, thought about it constantly, but I did it and once again, I’m faced with the repercussions. 

Continue reading “Don’t think that you’re so great (1)”

Music

Time-Bomb Ticking Away [song of the week]


Just when you thought you’ve seen it all
A storm awaits behind the door
Disgruntled right down to the core
We still go on

~

Watching the time bomb ticking away
Watching the time bomb nobody cares ’till it’s too late
Watching the time bomb ticking away
Watching the time bomb you better pray you’re somewhere safe

~

Oh, we got a time bomb ticking away inside
And the only way to make us laugh is to make us cry

[Billy Talent, Time-Bomb Ticking Away]

Life, Random Thoughts

a lonely life where no one understands you | Random Thoughts #19

Hello, people. It’s ‘Get A Freaking Diary, S!’ time. I’m sure that someone out there is enjoying my rambling. 

This weekend my friend and I came up with our own motivational/random quote. I’ll post it on Wednesday, but it’s awesome and nonsensical at the same time. Which kind of sums me up. Haha. 

Anyway, I’ll start by talking about Instagram again because I have no life.

  • Bob is in Texas this week. 
  • The picture he posted was slightly ridiculous. I mean, it was cool and all but I don’t get those people that take pictures of themselves in water. Aren’t they worried about dropping their phones? Bravery, y’all.
  • My Instagram is dead. The people posting pictures either don’t talk to me anymore, or I’m not really a fan of them anymore. I could search for stuff, I guess. Meh. 
  • Bob is basically the most active person on my Instagram. I mean, I’m still not sure what his contribution to society is besides broadcasting his face as much as possible, but then again, my contribution isn’t much either so, I cannot judge. 
  • I’ll wait until when I’m at peak boredom levels and not in a slight state of anxiety. 
  • I still don’t like his picture.
  • Every time I go to post, I get put off because it just feels so pointless. I posted a few pictures this week but I shall disappear for the time being

The Korn lyric/post title:

  • It’s true. 
  • I was thinking about my friend of ten years who I am no longer friends with. My feelings on that range from, that fucking bitch to…that fucking bitch. So they’re balanced feelings then. 
  • People understand perhaps, but I don’t think they give a hoot. 
  • I don’t blame them. Everyone wants to be understood, but there’s 7 billion of us and that’s too many people to give a shit about
  • I am weird anyway, so, not understanding me is okay. 
  • I don’t even understand myself. 

Random Thought of the Day

Was that dish covered? Oh my goodness, I hope it was! I don’t uunderstand. 

Considering that I’m not eating whatever the hell it was, I’m not sure why I’m so concerned but HELLO, BUGS AND STUFF. 

Writing update:

  • It’s going. 
  • Slowly
  • I cannot really do much with my hand. 
  • Yesterday I was on meds and trying to write, frustrated and this happened:

Hate it. Hate it. 

For one, my brain is foggy. 

I can’t control my hands very well so I keep making mistakes. So so many mistakes. I cannot keep a single thought together.

The ideas are coming but not in order. 

Still, I write, because I’m a masochist. I have to put myself through a different kind of pain while ridding​ myself of another. 

Time for a sleep methinks…Just spent five minutes staring at a wall. Also my shirt was inside out. 

Head is extra foggy. 

Anyway, more later. 

Uh, okay self… I love that I wasted time writing that instead of just sleeping. 

Real talk: please don’t compare me to other people

  • I don’t need you to project on me
  • I don’t need you to live vicariously through me
  • I don’t need you to guide me through life
  • I don’t need you to tell me that I’ve achieved nothing in life
  • I don’t need to hear you boast about how successful you’ve been when everyone can see that it not true
  • I don’t need your advice when everything I want in life is everything you turned out not to be
  • I don’t need you to rant and rave when I show no interest
  • I don’t need your negativity and poisonous mindset
  • I don’t need your abuse at all
  • I need you to get a clue and leave me alone

    Writing update 2

    • Finished a story!
    • I need to work on posting some more short stories on here. 
    • I need to work on my short story that’s sort of about me but isn’t. 
    • Finished another story. I’m on a roll. 
    • I will post the second story here because it’s original and based on a WordPress prompt. The other one is fanfic (yes, I dabble in such things). 

      Anyway, have a good week, people!

      Awkward Situations, Life

      leave them all behind

      [the statement: The only friend I need is myself

      the admission: actually, other friends would be kinda nice]

      I got a message from a friend a few days ago. It was out of the blue really, although, I’d just been thinking about her. It’s strange to me. I’m the kind of person that’s always kept up with people, but I have a habit of befriending people who can’t be bothered. Or they’re too busy to make time. The list goes on. And on. 

      At the end of the day, I am one person and just having three or four friends like that is a lot. All of my friends being like that was too much. So I have zero. Yes, I’m friendless for the most part. I mean, I have friends, but only a few people that I’d feel obligated to get in touch with after say a couple of weeks of not talking. I’m done with all of that for now. 

      Friends kind of suck. 

      Or maybe I am the friend that sucks. 

      It doesn’t matter. I always swear I am done with it. I’ll admit that I do sometimes wake up and think is this normal but you know what? Fuck it. I’m happy to be the disposable friend. Y’all can say hi and I’ll say hi back and wait for you to initiate our next period of silence. Is that cool? 

      I have a friend that I went to school with. The second we weren’t in classes together anymore, it was crickets. I can’t even get a Twitter reply from her these days. Someone I know in real life. The audacity of it all. I don’t have better luck online to be honest. I attract certain people. Or I’m too nice. Probably a combination. I’m reliable S, always there when someone needs something or has an issue. I will always reply when I’m able to because I know what it’s like to not get replies. These days it doesn’t bother me much. I’ve conditioned myself to see responses as a bonus, and I have enough anxiety that sometimes silence isn’t the worst thing. 

      Anyway, why am I suddenly ranting about this? Well, the loves of my life (seriously, I’d marry any of the unmarried members if they were interested. I can relocate to Canada!) Billy Talent have a song on their album called ‘Leave Them All Behind‘ which I adore. It’s an inspirational song that sort of makes me want to run away? Not in a bad way. 

      Obviously, I can’t due to lack of funds, but seriously, I want to leave everyone behind and just do my own thing away from continuous disappointment. 

      Sometimes, a girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. 

      Sometimes. 

      ~

      Written as a response to Linda G. Hill’s SOCS prompt