Awkward Situations, Life

Getting Caught Up In My Own Weirdness

This is me in a nutshell, although sometimes I think life would be easier if I was normal. Sometimes I get so caught up in the weirdness that I can feel the point at which it goes from being funny to ‘omg can this girl shut the fk up’. 

So, I’m going to give my long suffering break and bring the weirdness here for a bit. I will give you guys a daily log of weirdness. I’m serious. Or we can just file it under Random Thoughts like I’ve been doing? Yeah, that’s better. Anyway. Bye!

Awkward Situations, Bitchin', Life

5 Unexpected Life Lessons

Well, they’re not unexpected but it made for a catchier title. Sorry*.

1. Apologies don’t really mean much. 
(*I wasn’t sorry.)

Look, I’ll be the first to admit that I have warped views on apologies. I’m sensitive in certain situations and I know that what I feel is wrong might be okay to someone else. That’s because they’re an idiot and I’m civilised, but whatever, I’m not sweating on that.  That being said, people forcing me to apologize or forcing someone to apologize doesn’t sit right with me. It’s false and doesn’t hold much weight. I learnt this when I realised that someone’s apology meant little to me because of how they reacted after the incident. An apology should be a formality and not a battle. A simple acceptance that wrong has been committed and not I’m sorry that you felt way. Approximately one year ago, my good friend said something that I’ll probably never truly forgive her for. I’m over it, but for myself. I used to think that I caused the situation but meh. I didn’t.  Continue reading “5 Unexpected Life Lessons”

Awkward Situations, Life, Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts #13

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You know what, I don’t need any peach inspired nightmares tonight

I uttered this upon preparing to watch a story by my favourite narcissist person on Instagram. I may not have learned my lesson, but I’d like a nightmare free weekend!

Also, I need to chill on Instagram. I’m not on it 24/7 by any means, but there’s still something about it that makes me feel uncomfortable. Almost like I’m a hipster with hipster amnesia who’s forgotten that Instagram is beneath me (obv that’s an analogy ’cause hipsters embraced Instagram years before the rest of us. Duh!).

That being said I’m going to have to wean myself off it slowly. Cold turkey never works for me. Le sigh. 

A to Z Challenge 2017, Awkward Situations

ugly days – #AtoZChallenge

So, I decided to go make up free this week. By make up I mean eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, brow pencil and lipstick (although I wore lip gloss instead).

Monday, I looked disastrous. My hair is long overdue a spruce up so I’ve just been tying a scarf on it but it looks awful. Plus I was running late so I looked like a hot mess.

Tuesday, more of the same.

By Wednesday, I was avoiding looking at myself in the mirror.

I ditched concealer and foundation because it was getting too much and they’re not good for my skin, but sometimes I just always feel so self conscious without anything on my face. I call these instances my ugly days. Usually on those days, the make up goes on, but I wanted to air out my face this week. Plus, my eyes watered for about fifteen minutes straight in public so in a way, I’m glad that I held my resolve. Continue reading “ugly days – #AtoZChallenge”

Life, Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts #11

More Instagram rambling. I always feel like an awkward grandma when I’m on social media so I’m sharing my journey with you all. Enjoy, LOL.

So, today, I watched some stories. I follow less than 30 people so there’s only ever usually two that need to be watched. One was of some guy in his car. I’m fairly certain that he wasn’t saying anything. I mean, his lips weren’t moving but I also didn’t unmute the video, so…It was weird. I was just wondering why he was looking directly at the camera. Maybe I will unmute it next time. Anyway, his dog is cute, though! The next one was just general stuff by a friend of mine.  Continue reading “Random Thoughts #11”

A to Z Challenge 2017

surprises – #AtoZChallenge 

I don’t like surprises. Not in real life, books, movies, shows, anywhere. I can’t stand them. Why? Well, ’cause they catch you unaware. I’m the kind of person that reads the end of books, reads the plot of movies and shows on Wikipedia, and whatever else one does to avoid surprises. 

Let’s break it down. 

Nice surprises

They’re okay, I guess. I would be the worst person to surprise. I will ask ‘what is it?’ a million times if I need to. Otherwise, I’ll be embarrassed. Or self-conscious, and nobody needs to see that. 

Bad surprises

I’d rather just know. I hate not knowing. I need to be prepared for everything. I can’t take it when I don’t know something and it’s bad.  This includes the deaths of fictional characters. I have crying over anything that isn’t real so I deliberately spoil myself so that I’m prepared. That’s probably weird but I’m not stranger to weirdness, lol! 

Real life bad surprises are everything that I run away from. Betrayal, sad things, horrible friends. No thank you. Life is bad enough. 

Unusual surprises

Ugh. The worst kind. I need to be mentally aware of everything at all times. I hate unusual surprises because I have to wonder about the logic and then try and make sense of it all – like this new obsession with unicorns, what’s up with that? – and I overthink things. A lot. 

To conclude, my dislike of surprises comes down to my somewhat controlled appearance. I’m not the kind of person that likes to express too much in front of others. Usually, I’ll laugh, but I’m always laughing. Anything else is off limits, lol. 

A to Z Challenge 2017

resting bitch face – #AtoZChallenge

Per Wikipedia:

Resting bitch face, also known as RBF or bitchy resting face, is a term for a facial expression (or lack thereof) which unintentionally appears angry, annoyed, irritated, or contemptuous, particularly when the individual is relaxed or not particularly expressing an emotion

Where do I start? I don’t smile. I don’t have a welcoming face. I often look grumpy, sad, miserable or a combination of the above. That is my face. I cannot help it. Please don’t ask me if I’m okay, or what’s wrong because chances are that I was fine before you insinuated that I wasn’t. At work, I have to physically prepare myself to fake smile at people. At least I’m getting paid for that. Other than that, if you’re not saying something that’s worth a smile, you’re not going to get one. If you’re not funny, you will get the blank stare. I used to think it made me look studious but apparently I skipped past that and landed on angry, miserable, sad, annoyed.

If that means that I have a bitch face, so be it. It’s social fractions. Some of us have open faces, some of us are always smiling. And then there’s the RBF crew. We look like we’re about to shave our heads and go all V for Vendetta but in reality, we’re just the same as everyone else. I’m approachable. I mean, you might get two words and awkward laughter from me but I won’t blank you. Unless you come up to me when my headphones are blatantly in. Why do people do that? You can see the wires. You can see that I’m not paying attention to you. Why not wait until I take the earphones out? 

The reasons behind my RBF are simple really, I’m usually lost in thought or I want to keep my expression neutral. I keep my expression neutral because I’m self-conscious. There you have it. I’d rather have a rigid, controlled facial expression than look crazy unintentionally. It’s not that big of a deal really. People tell me that I should smile more but…Maybe they should give me something to smile about. Like money. I will smile for money. 

Anyway, these days when people ask me what’s wrong, I just say that I’m tired and omit the part where I’m tired of being asked what’s wrong. I could sit down and tell people my problems but after five minutes their eyes will glaze over and they’ll realise that they didn’t care to begin with. 

So yeah, RBF s just my gace, people. Deal with it. Especially because….

In 2015 CBS News reported that some plastic surgeons were using plastic surgery to help women with RBF

… and really, that’s just not right. 

This post is sponsored by Scarlett O’Hara’s bitch face.