Or rather, the lack of mystery because it’s cause is always the same thing. Some form of anxiety, or an esteem issue. You name it. Most of us have experienced it at least once.
In my case, I am pretty introverted and that makes for some awkward conversations. I think there are a lot of misconceptions about introverts. For instance, I don’t shield myself with a dark umbrella and live in a box. Nor do I consider myself to be shy. I just don’t like talking to people that I don’t know very well because it’s exhausting.
It’s not that there’s anything wrong with those people, it’s just that conversations require energy. Now if someone out there wanted to locate the introvert energy source (that isn’t caffeine because I’d rather not have to pee a million times) and come up with a way to recharge it, I’d be all ears.
Until then, I will have to go through the same phases of internal panic that I do any time I speak to someone that I don’t know. I should stress that for me, I can talk to people who say something to me, but initiating conversations is the hard part. I spend so long thinking about it that I exhaust myself before I can say a word. Continue reading “The mystery of internal panic during awkward conversations”