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I’m not weird

Screw that, I’m weird and I own it. 

Today was my first day off since February and it was disrupted. Every time it’s something, but whatever, at least I got a three day weekend. I’m hoping to have five days off towards the end of the month but if it wasn’t for my hair (I need a month to sort this mane out, let alone five days), I’d cancel them. I’d rather work for my money than sit at home and feel like I can’t relax. I haven’t had the mental peace that I need.

I need my mental peace badly. There’s only so much that coffee can do. 

I did do some journalling but the good that did rubbed off after a while. 

Anyway, I signed into Instagram for the first time in four years. Crazy. I spent most of my time deleting pictures. Mostly anything stupid and the one with my real name on it, as well as the one picture of myself. I wanted to delete everything but I figured I’d just leave it. It’s a nice mixture of random and liberal use of filters and I’m only on there to follow one person really (and when I’m over that, my ass is hopping off the ‘gram).

I am really resistant about using social media sites that actively encourage me to want to broadcast every single aspect of my life just because I feel like I need to, you know? If I think other people’s posts are fucking asinine (so so many, man, can you guys just buy a diary or scrapbook?) then mine are probably ten times worse. I’d rather buy a diary. Or a scrapbook. 

Just looking at Instagram made me feel very weird and uncomfortable. Click on the wrong place and you end up on all the celebrity posts and… Fuck that noise. My life is hard enough without having to wonder what editing software Selena Gomez is using to make herself look good. Not that I’d ever follow Selena Gomez. That is just an example. I have no idea what she does apart from sing songs that I thankfully do not hear. I’m sure she’s great. 

Anyway, yeah, everyone’s lives look so perfect on there. She’s posing in front of an amazing looking tree and he’s artfully posing in front of a panda or whatever. They’re all gathered together with Stepford smiles. Good for them but I don’t care enough to keep up with some kind of magazine special of people’s lives. 

Twitter is as stupid as ever, same vapidness and general narcissism but at least there’s some worldly conversation if you look in the right places. 

Snapchat. Ugh. 

I don’t even bother with Facebook these days. The energy it requires is too much. I’ve used it so sporadically since 2012 that my On This Day is often blank, lol. 

There’s no way any of this shit is good for anyone but Silicon Valley billionaires. 

Ah, well. 

That was my day. I hope everyone had a better day. 🙂

Life

Social Media Could Be What’s Making You Feel Lonely

It’s the weekend! Anyway, I read this article on Lifehacker and it rang true for me. Social media was designed to connect all of us but at times, it seems like it does the opposite. 
Sometimes I would go on it and wonder why I wasn’t doing the same things and why everyone seems to have a better life. It made me feel so fucking boring because I had nothing to say that I was doing. And then it became about doing things just so I could post about it. Even then, I wasn’t getting any notice. No one cared. Dramatics aside, social media just wasn’t good for my mental health. It would leave me tired and annoyed. I found myself angered by strangers, I wanted everyone to shut the fuck up. 

Towards the end (as in the end of regular usage), I would only read my own posts. So on Twitter, I’d stay on my profile or mentions and on Facebook, I’d remain on my profile. Luckily, Instagram took off after I joined and left it, so I had less to walk away from. 

It’s funny because I now have even less interaction with people but it doesn’t bother me anymore. Now I’m just free to live life without comparing myself to millions of other people. 

That’s one less insecurity to worry about. 

Bitchin', Life, Social Media

Am I the only one who’s tired of social media?

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My first brush with social media were the old Yahoo! and MSN groups, along with a few forums (which aren’t usually classed as social media but they are at this point). I don’t remember it being too bad, though I was banned in one case for using large fonts (I think I’ve posted about that before). Of course, there wasn’t 24/7 access to the internet back then. It wasn’t all that fast and most kids my age didn’t have a personal computer let alone a mobile phone or tablet.

That changed as I was growing up. I remember being one of the few people in my class who had access to internet before slowly but surely, the internet grew until the point where we all had it. MSN Messenger was quite popular back then and while not as vicious as certain platforms today, it had it’s downsides. Was that person offline or just ‘invisible’? Why wasn’t so-and-so responding to various nudges. Continue reading “Am I the only one who’s tired of social media?”