Angry Thoughts

i’m like a slow cooker | Angry Thoughts #1

Yes, I’m doing angry thoughts now because there’s so much in this world that irritates me. 
I am like a slow cooker. My anger simmers beneath the surface until it grows and in some rare cases, boils over. 

Eventually, I calm down. 

This week, the two managers at work are the two that I truly cannot stand. 

This meant that my anger blew up on Monday. Ding ding ding.

We have Squeaky who thinks it’s appropriate to call my name every five minutes to tell me to do the same thing. It’s to the point where I get random people saying ‘oh, so you’re snark, I always hear your name!’. I don’t like to be known like that. In an ideal world I’d get on with my work on peace. Squeaky finally got on my last nerves on Monday. It was bordering on harassment. I was so angry by the end of the shift that I was visibly agitated. Now, I was already annoyed before I go there, but still. 

I’m kind of weird in that if you’re on my bad side you get nothing from me. I’m serious. No smile, no conversation, just silence. The idea is that they get the hint and leave me the fuck alone. I guess that’s hard to do at work but I don’t give a fuck. I am not talking to you. Go. Away. Stop pestering me. Let me get on with the work. Stop calling me repeatedly. I’m not a dog. I think Squeaky has detected my disdain for them. I’d like to think that they have good observational skills, but you never know. Maybe they’re the idiot that I think they are. 

I will be ignoring them until I leave this job. 

Now onto the other manager, Damp Squib. DS was really nice when I first started. He let you get on with it and I always did a good job. That all changed a few months ago. He would get agitated and panicked and then pass that onto us. Still, he was okay. 
Until he wasn’t. 

I am probably an easy target. I don’t say much, I do whatever I’m asked and I’m not a favourite. They can all pick on me with no problem. DS is always on my case. I finally reached my limit last Friday when he was like, “I’m giving you two options – the hard way or the easy way’

Excuse me? Im not your child. 

Fuck you and your options. 

Like I said, I’m quiet and I don’t really speak to managers. Not because I’m uppity, but because I’m not stupid. The managers do the most gossiping. They and the fucking staff members who kiss ass and make friends with them. 

I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to make money.

To go back to Squeaky, there was an awkward situation where they were more or less laughing at me along with someone else. I can’t prove it, but I’m 99% sure. I’m not mad over it, but since then I’ve paid Squeaky dust. Whenever they try to speak to me I just look on blankly. Squeaky doesn’t care, which works well for me. 

Damp Squib on the other hand… he tried to smile at me and I just walked past him like I didn’t see. I don’t think so, buddy. I’m not wasting my energy fake smiling at you. He also asked me for a favour (very rudely) and then tried to thank me after. I was just like, whatever. I don’t have time for him. The first, second, third time, I let it go. After that, no. I don’t think so. 

I am so done with all of them. If I didn’t need money, I’d just never turn up again. I have never encountered such a situation where I feel like I’m being treated like an animal. I think animals are treated better than we are. 

Our new HBIC has installed a ‘no talking’ policy, just so we know that he’s a dick, I guess. Noted. Fuck you too, I’m not going to say a word to any of you. I am not doing you favours. I am not smiling at you. If I didn’t need my vacation time approved, I’d never voluntarily speak to any of them again. 

They can all fuck off. 

In the meantime, I’m gonna go dust of my resume. 

It’s time to escape this hell. 

snark, out (hopefully soon!)

Awkward Situations, Life

Girl, can you shut up

Hello, snarklings!

You know I didn’t realise that I’d taken a blogging break until over the weekend? Sometimes I get lost in my own head and don’t realise it, but I’m back! 

Last week was relatively uneventful but this happened…

I was on my way home when I sort of crossed the road in a dodgy manner. I noticed these two guys stumbling outside of park and I was like, let me try and walk past unnoticed. 
Didn’t work. 

They gestured for me to take my headphones out (sigh…), asked me if I was alright (sigh…), asked me where I was from (sigh…). Tried to make me guess where one of them was from (final answer was ‘question mark’). 

This was all after midnight, so I’m tired, have a headache and want to go home. I’m hoping that they will go in one direction while I go in mine. 

My hope was unfulfilled. 

They say that they’ll walk me home because it’s late (oh, thank you? Where were they when I was walking home an hour later every day way back in December?).

Anyway, we start walking and one guy, the chatty one, asks me a lot of questions. The other one is quiet…bizarrely enough, he wanted my number but didn’t give me his when I said that I’d take it instead, but his friend gave me his number – but not his name? He told me to save it as Jack of Jill so I went with Rando. I think Rando said that the other guy doesn’t have a phone which explains the number malarkey. 

The number he gave me is an extra digit long as well but the upside is that there is someone out there with a picture of young!Arnold Schwarzenegger as their profile photo on WhatsApp and it’s hilarious. I have no idea if it’s one of these guys or not and I didn’t bother to find out.

Back to the story…

Oddly enough, little old quiet me wasn’t quiet for once. Oh, no, I was snarky, chatty, and I actually let them partially walk me home. The usual me would have doubled back and taken a different route just to make sure that they were gone. The usual me would not have said a word. 

However, my aversion to people tends to temporarily malfunction when I’m tired, irritated and have a headache. I was/had all three and talking to these guys actually distracted me from that. I, of course, had a bright yellow bag with me which I’m never taking out again. Clearly it will attract all sorts, lol. 

At one point, they were almost jogging to keep up with me and they continued to try and guess where I worked. The funny guy asked me why I was in a rush. Fam, it’s after midnight and I’m on my way home from work, I’m not really going to be taking my time. I’m not that big of an idiot.

Anyway, me being the introverted social anxiety sufferer that I am, I’ve now replayed it a million times in my head. The running theme of the conversation was where I worked (they would guess, I would say no). That was because I told them I was on my way back from work and also sort of mentioned the area that I worked in before I finally had a brainwave and I was like, girl can you shut up. 

How do I go from saying nothing to blabbing uncontrollably? I don’t babble at strangers. Ever. 

So I played it coy from that point on. It was nice to have someone to partially walk me home and we did have a funny conversation – I asked if they were chilling and they were like LOL NO AT THIS TIME? I just said, ‘well, you both look pretty comfortable that’s why I’m asking [as you stumbled out of the park at this unsociable hour].’ 

Maybe you had to be there, but still, it was interesting. One of them freely admitted that he was high and not making sense and I was just thinking…that explains a lot. 

However, like I said to my friend, I hope I never see them again…

  1. I am probably older than both of them.
  2. …. I’m not sure if approaching a female who’s on her own after midnight is a good thing? Is this a thing that people do outside of club areas? This was a residential area and there was no one else around. 
  3. For my own safety. My friend asked me if I was scared and I genuinely wasn’t. Maybe I should have been? LOL. 

      If you’re wondering why these guys were even interested in me at all, you’re not the only one. I looked absolutely awful.  I wasn’t wearing a single lick of make up. My hair was a mess, my face was greasy because it’s so hot. I was sweaty. I didn’t look hideous but I didn’t look special either. . 

      I guess it was just the perfect day for two strangers to show up and walk me home. 

      A to Z Challenge 2017

      (G)ossip- #AtoZChallenge

      – A to Z Challenge – 

      At work recently, a co-worker of mine asked me if the person I worked with was pissed off with him. I reassured him that she wasn’t but I suspected that she was. Later on, she basically told me that she was annoyed with him. I didn’t say anything because I could see both sides of it. He can be a bit of a gossip and I think that in this situation, he didn’t play it smart. He asked some prying questions and then refused to take the hint. 

      I personally am not particularly interested in work gossip because you never know how much truth there is. That being said, I probably engage in it from time to time. I do think that there’s a difference between general gossip and malicious gossip. 

      I don’t really care, anyone can say what they like about me. All I ask is that you don’t make it obvious. A couple of managers were snickering and laughing when I was around and I was just thinking, you guys have no chill. Do that shit in your office, please. People are never smart about it. The first rule of gossiping is to ensure that there’s no trail. It’s like bitching about someone’s sister and not expecting them to tell their sister what you said. You have to gossip strategically.

      I know that most people will say that they don’t gossip, but they’re lying. We all do. It’d human nature. We’re curious. Or well, we’re fucking nosy. It is what it is. 

      Malicious gossip is something I don’t understand, though. Help me out. If say, I had a friend called Martha and she pissed me off, I would then go out and spread rumours about her. Who has time for that mess?Seriously? When I see people doing this kind of nonsense I get confused. I can’t imagine taking time out of my day to make up some bullshit and then distribute it. Anyone who does needs to fall back and just do what normal people do and passively aggressively ignore the friend who’s upset them. So much simpler. 

      The problem with malicious gossipers is that they always take it too far. They’re also almost always not about that life. One minute they’re out there spreading all sorts of the lies and the next, they’re crying into their Pinot and wondering why everyone hates them (think Tamra from RHOC, lol). 

      The second issue is that the gossiper never sees that they’re just wasting everyone’s time. At the end of the day, who cares? If Martha is acting the fool, then that’s on her. 

      Celebrity gossip is another thing I don’t necessarily understand. Except I am extremely guilty of it. At the end of the day, I realise that these people are out there living their lives and raking in cash. So I’ve decided to just enjoy my own cash free life. I might not have a glamorous life but I do post at least one hilarious tweet every six months. That’s something!

      Moving on to family gossip. Well. This one’s inevitable. The more fucked up the family, the juicier the gossip. Until you realise that you’re complicit in the dysfunctionality. 

      Gossip is always entertaining when it doesn’t pertain to us specifically, but most of us can’t help ourselves. 

      We’re the worst. 


      07. Work

      This is Day 7 of my Gratitude Challenge.

      Work, work, work….

      Well, I’m grateful that I have a job and money that’s my own. Finding a job in this day and age is hard. Finding the motivation is hard. Finding the will to make it through the tedious and at times painful application form is hard. 

      So I’m grateful to have something even if it isn’t going to make me a millionaire anytime soon. 

      Although, being a millionaire wouldn’t hurt. I’ll stay positive!

      Awkward Situations, Life

      That moment when you realise how awkward you really are

      So, I became acutely aware of how awkward I was a long time ago. It always seems to hit home when I’m out of my comfort zone. Like this week when I had to tell someone off at work. I don’t really speak to customers unless spoken to. Occasionally, if I’m feeling chatty (a rare occasion) I’ll have a few conversations, but apart from that I am quiet. This week however, I was tired and crabby and I had to finally speak up. And I felt so bad that I had to. I didn’t regret it but I’m not the kind of person that tells people off.
      It kind of really hit me then that I am not the most confident person and that I’m just awkward. 

      The most telling indicator is always when I am recounting interactions. My dialogue always consists of uhms and ahhs because I am so quiet. Talking to me is probably really frustrating. I guess it’s like talking to a mime that occasionally breaks out of character. I just can’t help it, I guess. Sometimes when you over think each word that you say it’s just easier not to say anything.
      I’m also extremely introverted, so it’s par for the course but sometimes I wish I was confident enough to just be myself without freaking out afterwards.

      Image credit: here // Response to ‘Aware


      The key to success…

      …is apparently laziness, maltreatment and general incompetence.

      At work I am currently being made to do the work of two people. My mistake was being able to do it when they didn’t have enough people. So now they can get away without hiring someone and I get back pain. I have to take my time these days, especially because I know I will receive no help. 

      Me right now

      The managers today had the nerve to tell me that certain areas were messy. Yeah, and they will stay messy. I cannot be in two places at once. And as much as I wish I was, I am not a robot. And even if I was, I still wouldn’t waste my cool skills on breaking my back for these people. 

      In the words of Arnie, I’d asta la vista, baby them and go off to save the world.

      Today, one hour before the shift ended, some managers told a coworker of mine to redo something a certain way. It’s absolutely ridiculous. Why not tell her before she’s already done 90% of the work? We aren’t paid enough for this bullshit.

      In general, none of us are happy and all of us are overworked. Meanwhile, the ones are the top of the food chain are raking in the cash.

      Management right now


      This post is sponsored by my back pain and is a response to the prompt overworked.